Paul Hardingham continues his new series.
What’s the Big Idea? An Introduction to the Books of the Old Testament:
1 and 2 Samuel.
1 and 2 Samuel was originally a single work, which focuses on Samuel, Saul and David, around 1,000 BC, mid-way between Abraham and Jesus. It was Samuel who established the monarchy in Israel after the period of the judges. He was commanded by God to give the people a king, although their request is seen as a rejection of God’s rule over Israel (8:7).
The people simply wanted to be like other nations, however their king was still subject to God’s law and the word of the prophet. Although Samuel anointed Saul, he soon showed an unwillingness to submit to these requirements, leading to his rejection as king (15:23). God chose David as Saul’s successor, and 1 Samuel depicts David’s years of waiting until the right time arrived to claim the throne.
2 Samuel depicts David’s rule, in which the nation prospers and its enemies are defeated. The promise of the perfect king is fulfilled in Jesus Himself, as David’s descendant. The second half of the book depicts the darker side of David’s reign, describing his weaknesses and failures, including his adultery with Bathsheba and the rebellion of his son Absalom.
Nevertheless, David remained a man after God’s own heart: ‘The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.’ (1 Samuel 16:7). The characters in this book are not always great examples of faith, however, ‘They do not show us how we should live but how in fact we do live, authenticating the reality of our daily experience as the stuff that God uses to work his purposes of salvation in us and in the world.’ (Eugene Peterson).
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Prospect of winter energy bills causing anxiety for millions, says Archbishop of York
Millions are looking ahead to this winter with ‘fear and anxiety’ about the cost of heating their homes, the Archbishop of York has said as he backed the recent launch of a campaign to provide a network of warm spaces for people who struggle to pay their energy bills.
Archbishop Stephen Cottrell is encouraging churches to consider getting involved in the Warm Welcome campaign, a network of venues from community centres to churches providing warm spaces over the winter for people struggling to heat their homes
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Archbishop Stephen said: “Sadly, what began as a cost-of-living crisis has simply become the new normal for many.
“Millions of people will look ahead to this winter with fear and anxiety, wondering how they are going to cope with high living costs. That is why I am proud to endorse the Warm Welcome campaign this winter.
“But a warm welcome isn’t only about the temperature. It is about kindness and community, giving people the chance to be seen and known, to belong and to be part of something. It is about celebrating the God-given value and dignity of every single person, finding hope and community together. But of course, none of that will happen if people are cold.”
The Warm Welcome campaign is led by a coalition of over 50 charitable organisations who joined together in response to the cost of living crisis to provide emergency support to communities struggling to pay for rising food costs and to heat their homes.
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The mysterious ways of mistletoe
Mistletoe has long been used as part of our Christmas decorations. It is not your usual kind of plant.
Instead, it is hemiparasitic, meaning that although its leaves enable it to feed itself through photosynthesis, its roots invade the host tree or shrub to extract water and other nutrients
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Mistletoe loves living in apple, lime, hawthorn, poplar or oak trees. You may spot it high up, as a large globe, on the bare trees in winter. There is one spectacular example in Windsor Great Park, clearly visible from the path on the opposite side of the Thames
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Mistletoe’s berries are almost translucent, fleshy and sticky. They form in the forks of mistletoe’s many branches. While they are toxic to humans, they are attractive to birds, who wipe the remaining seeds off their beaks onto the nearest branch, which of course helps the plant to spread.
For some reason, Romans thought mistletoe represented Peace, Love and Understanding. Perhaps that is how it got into our Christmas celebrations? The earliest documentary evidence for kissing under mistletoe dates from the 16th century, but we don’t know who got kissed first.
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Doctor Livingstone, I presume?
It was 150 years ago, on 10th November 1871, that Welsh journalist and explorer Henry Morton Stanley located the missing missionary Dr David Livingstone near Lake Tanganyika, in present-day Tanzania. He may or may not have greeted him with the words: “Doctor Livingstone, I presume?”
Stanley’s real name was John Rowlands. He was born in Denbigh to an unmarried 18-year-old who abandoned him. He ended up in a workhouse until he was 15, then went to America, where he changed his name and became an American citizen. When he found Livingstone, he was working for the New York Herald.
Known for his strength of will, Stanley also had an African name – Bula Matari – Breaker of Rocks. Much of his life was spent in Central Africa, and his reputation was mixed: he was said by some to be violent toward Africans, but by others to have treated them well. His feats as an explorer were impressive: he played a big part in locating the true source of both the Nile and the Congo, and he helped open up the Congo on behalf of King Leopold of Belgium.
Though not overtly religious, he felt he was engaged in a “sacred task”. He was re-naturalised a British subject in 1892, following his marriage.
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All in the month of March
It was:
300 years ago, on 8th March 1723 that Sir Christopher Wren, English architect, died. Best known for designing St Paul’s Cathedral.
125 years ago, on 16th March 1898 that Aubrey Beardsley, British illustrator, died. His black ink drawings, influenced by Japanese woodcuts, contributed to the development of Art Nouveau.
100 years ago, on 4th March 1923 that Patrick Moore, the amateur astronomer, TV presenter, writer and musician was born. Best known for presenting the TV astronomy show The Sky at Night for over 50 years. (Died 2012)
80 years ago, on 13th March 1943 that the final liquidation of Krakow Ghetto in Poland took place. 8,000 Jews were transported to Plaszow labour camp, 2000 more were simply killed in the streets, and the rest were sent to Auschwitz.
70 years ago, on 19th March 1953 that the Academy Awards ceremony (the Oscars) were televised for the first time.
Also 70 years ago, on 26th March 1953 that Dr Jonas Salk announced that he had completed the first small-scale test of a polio vaccine. Larger tests began in February 1954, and mass vaccinations began in April 1955.
65 years ago, on 2nd March 1958 that the first land crossing of Antarctica was completed by the Commonwealth Trans-Antarctic Expedition, led by Vivian Fuchs. The team of 12 men travelled 2,158 miles from Shackleton Base to Scott Base (via the South Pole) in 99 days, using six vehicles.
60 years ago, on 22nd March 1963 that the British Secretary of State for War, John Profumo, made a statement in the House of Commons in which he denied there was any impropriety in his relationship with Christine Keeler, a model who was also in a sexual relationship with a drug dealer and a Soviet naval attaché. (In June he admitted he had lied, and resigned.)
50 years ago, on 8th March 1973 that the citizens of Northern Ireland voted in a referendum to remain within the United Kingdom. That same day the IRA carried out its first bombing in Britain since WWII, planting car bombs in London. One person died, 200 were injured.
40 years ago, on 6th March 1983 that Donald Maclean, British-born Soviet spy died. He was a member of the Cambridge Spy Ring.
Also 40 years ago, on 26th March 1983, that Anthony Blunt, British art historian and Soviet spy, died.
25 years ago, on 16th March 1998 that Rwanda began mass trials for the country’s 1994 genocide. There were 125,000 suspects for 500,000 murders.
20 years ago, on 1st March 2003 that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the al-Qaeda terrorist who masterminded the 9/11 attacks on the USA, was captured in Pakistan.
Also 20 years ago, on 12th March 2003 that the World Health Organisation issued a global alert about a severe form of pneumonia (now known as Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome – SARS) that was affecting people in China, Hong Kong and Vietnam.
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Isherwood Hall. (The original hall)
Tables and chairs are available.
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June 2025 Magazine
We as always, thank all who have contacted us and sent us comments and articles for inclusion. Please keep in touch and send us articles.
We would suggest that as there are a lot of articles, especially those of an religious theme , you can dip into them a bit at a time and not read all at once.
Pauline & Bob - co-editors..
Updated 16th June 2025
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Dear Friends,
I have always been curious about the monuments in York Minster. York Minster is like a story book open to the reader or viewer, in which each window and each object tell stories of the lives entwined their religious message. They are fascinating, inspiring and, incidentally, amusing.
In the East side of the South Transept in York Minster stand four tomb monuments. Three of these are to archbishops of the thirteenth century and the fourth is to Dean Duncombe of 19th century.
The first tomb monument is to the well-known Walter de Grey, who was archbishop of York from 1215 to 1255. Archbishop de Grey lived a grand life, being Chancellor to King John. He brought the Church to the king's aid, excommunicating all John's enemies in his war against the barons and the French. De Grey became then Chief Justiciar of the realm during Henry III's reign, and provided money, stores and troops for that king against the French.
But there was another side to the matter: believe it or believe it not, this Archbishop of York was excommunicated by the Pope - for opposing papal taxation. Grey died before he could be absolved, and so he could not be buried in consecrated ground until further arrangements had been made with a later Pope. Yet after his death, the Chancellor of the day commented that 'When he came North he found his province a barren wildness, and after ruling over it for nearly forty years he left it a fruitful field.' Grey as Archbishop of York had reorganized the parochial system, subdivided parishes, redistributed endowments, and raised funds for building chapels, bridges and roads. He was reckoned to be ‘the greatest prelate of the century in which he lived’.
On the far south side of the South transept, lies another Archbishop. This is Selwal de Bovill, who successed Grey after his death in 1256. Bovill only held the office of archbishop for two years before he died in 1258. He had no grand family background, unlike his immediate predecessor, nor had he powerful political supporters. Because he was illegitimate, and therefore ineligible for holy orders, he had to be granted a dispensation by the Pope for taking up the archiepiscopate. He followed his predecessor in being excommunicated, because he quarrelled with the Pope over the latter’s nomination of an Italian to be Dean of York. But this resistance to papal interference gained him much popularity in anti-papal Yorkshire, which was enhanced by his own Christian character and way of life.
The only man commemorated in the South Transept who was not an archbishop is Augustus Duncombe. Duncombe was the third surviving son of the first Lord Feversham, owner of Helmsley Castle, Duncombe Park and of broad acres in the North Riding. Duncombe became Dean of York in 1858, not least because his private income enabled him to fulfil the duties of a post which then combined a surprisingly low salary with extensive obligations to charity and hospitality. Indeed, at that time of financial difficulty for the Minster, Dean Duncombe contributed large sums from his own pocket towards its upkeep and restoration. He even subsidised the wages of the choristers. He also introduced choral services into the Nave, and provided a second organ for its North Aisle. By the time Duncombe died in 1880, the Minster had ceased from intramural burial, so the monument in the Transept is a cenotaph. Augustus Duncombe was buried at the family seat.
All of these remarkable men have passed through the Valley of Death, into the other side. The life they led here, the decisions they made, and their works belong to a day that has gone, and the monuments of them left for us now stand silent in stone. But their faith inspires Christians of a later generation to remember that the judgements of the world may mislead and that God may ask to act in unexpected ways. Above all, their lives tell us to seek God in our own, very different century.
Norma
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A statement following the death of Pope Francis
The Archbishop of York has issued a statement following the news of the death of Pope Francis. Here are excerpts from that statement:
“‘Let us walk together, work together, pray together.’ These are the words Pope Francis said to me when we met in 2023. They sum up his vision for the church, both the Roman Catholic Church but also ecumenically.
“Francis’s whole life and ministry was centred on Jesus who comes among us, not to be served, but to serve. We saw that in Francis’s service of the poor, his love of neighbour especially the displaced, migrant, the asylum seeker, his deep compassion for the well-being of the earth and his desire to build the church in new ways. Francis showed us how to follow Jesus, and encouraged us to go and do likewise.
“His encyclicals and teachings were supported by his deeds and actions. His whole life was instantly recognisable as those of one who followed Jesus.
“Pope Francis was acutely aware of the divisions between our churches, and I remember the powerful work he did with the then Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and the Moderator of the Church of Scotland in promoting peacebuilding in South Sudan.
“I remember, in the brief times I spent with him, how this holy man of God was also witty, lively, good to be with, and the warmth of his personality and interest in others shone out from him. May he rest in peace and rise in glory.
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Ordination season is underway
Every summer the C of E ordains its new deacons and priests.
The services are traditionally held during Petertide (29th June), a feast day that remembers the martyrdom of Saint Peter. He was the fisherman who became a devoted disciple of Jesus, and who then went on to be an instrumental figure in the early Church in Jerusalem.
Although the ordinations this summer will be held in a variety of cathedrals across the country, those being ordained will have certain important things in common:
- They will have felt called by God to serve as a deacon or priest.
- They will have passed a rigorous selection process.
- They will have completed a two-to-three-year training course (diploma or degree) at one the of theological education institutes (TEIs) based around the country.
And so here they are now – called, accepted, trained and soon to be set apart for this specialised ministry. If you know a deacon or a priest, pray for them and their families this month, as they begin a lifetime of public service to God.
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Faith of the northern saints explored in short film
The power of the Lord’s Prayer is celebrated in a new short film that is part of the Archbishop of York’s current ‘Faith in the North’ initiative.
Then as Now is available to watch from the 
Archbishop of York’s YouTube channel (from 6 May).
Set in the magnificent landscape of the north-east, the film interweaves the faith of the old northern saints from the 7thcentury (including St Cuthbert and St Hild) to the faith of Christians today.
Then as Now was created by an ordinand at St Hild College, Oliver Murray.
Oliver Murray explains: “This film is about rediscovering the power of the Lord’s Prayer alongside the men and women who first shared it, spreading the light of faith in the north. It’s incredible to see how this ancient prayer still speaks to our hearts, offering guidance and comfort in every season of life.”
Faith in the North is a prayer, storytelling and church-planting movement led by Archbishop Cottrell. His aim is to encourage people across the Northern Province to explore the Lord’s Prayer afresh during 2025.
Archbishop Cottrell says: “The Lord’s Prayer has been spoken through the centuries by countless people seeking strength, direction, and peace.
“If you’ve never prayed before, this is the best place to start and if you’ve been praying this for some time, it’s a great opportunity to engage anew with each line of the prayer. Join me in rediscovering Christ’s story in our hearts and communities today.”
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Canon Paul Hardingham considers a bedrock of our Christian belief: that God is Trinity.
The Nicene Creed: Who is God?
‘We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen.’
2025 sees the 1700th anniversary of the Nicene Creed. We use it at Communion services, but how much notice do we take of the words? In this new series we are looking at what it means to believe in God as Trinity.
We believe: In Greek, the Creed begins ‘we believe’ (in Latin, ‘I believe.’). It was formulated at the time of Arius, who declared that Jesus was the first and greatest of God’s creatures, but not the same as God the Father. His teaching proved so damaging that the Emperor Constantine called an ecumenical council in Nicaea (AD 325) to clarify the core beliefs for all Christians.
in one God: We believe in a God who is both one and Trinity: ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one’ (Deuteronomy 6:4). He is the Old Testament God, who we know through the life and work of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We are to worship Him alone and not people or things.
the Father, the Almighty: God is both the almighty Creator and loving Father: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name’ (Matt 6:9). Although the Father of all that exists, He is specifically Father to those who His children through their faith in Jesus.
maker of heaven and earth: God comes before anything that was created, and Creation is His alone: ‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty’ (Genesis 1:1,2). The implication is that He created ‘ex nihilo’ ie out of nothing. He is one God who is unchangeable, lacking in nothing and the source of all that exists.
of all that is, seen and unseen: God did not just create the physical universe, but also the spiritual powers: ‘For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him.’ (Colossians 1:16). Reality is more than what we can see, smell, taste, touch or measure.
The Creed establishes the ‘big picture’ of who God is and challenges our commitment to Him. How do these opening words of the Nicene Creed speak to us today?
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June Diary Page
Holy Communion service each Sunday at 9.00am (Said BCP service)
Sung Eucharist each Sunday at 10.00am (Common Worship)
Holy Communion each Tuesday at 10.00am (Said BCP service)
Said Evening Prayer each Sunday at 6.30pm.
BIBLE STUDY (via ZOOM) EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 7pm DURING TERM TIME.
PRAYER MEETING FIRST MONDAY IN THE MONTH 7pm IN CHURCH
All services at the usual times
Saturday 7th
9.30am Churchyard tidy / Church cleaning
Sunday 8th
PENTECOST
Wednesday 11th
COFFEE MORNING 10.00am – 11.30am
Sunday 15th
TRINITY SUNDAY
Sunday 29th
FIFTH SUNDAY - ONE SERVICE ONLY
10.00am Parish Communion
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Parish Pump Contributors
The Rev Canon Paul Hardingham retired in 2022 from being Vicar of St Peter’s Halliwell in Bolton in the diocese of Manchester. Parish ministry has taken him all over the country including Cambridge, Newcastle upon Tyne, Birmingham and Ipswich, during which time he has contributed to Parish Pump and its predecessor, Church News Service. He is still active in a local church leading and preaching, leading on the Manchester ALM Course, being a Training Incumbent, as well as looking after grandchildren!
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Canon Paul Hardingham considers our Three-in-One God
Understanding the Trinity
Trinity Sunday has its place in our liturgical calendar (15th June), yet we do not often hear sermons on the Trinity. The term ‘Trinity’ isn’t found in the Bible, and the Early Church took nearly 400 years to come up with a clear understanding of it.
However, there are hints of trinitarian language in the New Testament, e.g. Jesus instructs His disciples to baptise ‘in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit’ (Matt 28:19). Our understanding of the Trinity arises from God’s activity in our world, as reflected in the creedal questions:
‘Do you believe and trust in God the Father, source of all being and life, the One for whom we exist?
Do you believe and trust in God the Son, who took our human nature, died for us and rose again?
Do you believe and trust in God the Holy Spirit, who gives life to the people of God and makes Christ known in the world?
So why should the Trinity be important for us? If ‘God is love’ (1 John 4:8) it means that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are in a community of love together. Their relationship has been expressed as a divine dance, as they interact with one another, expressing love for each another and complementing the work each one has to do. As people made in God’s image, we are called to live this community of love in our lives and churches.
The Trinity also provides the basis for our mission, ‘As the Father has sent Me, so send I you.’ Just as God the Father sent Jesus into the world, so Jesus sends us into the world to do the Father’s work, equipped and accompanied by the Holy Spirit. In sharing God’s love, we share the life of the Trinity. Augustine spoke about the Spirit being the love between God the Father and the Son.
‘At the heart of reality lies the love between the Father and the Son. The Spirit unites us with Christ so that we begin to experience the same depth of love that exists between the Father and the Son.’ (Graham Tomlin).
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The Rev Mark Brown considers the meaning of a well-known Anglican time of year… this article is adapted from one that first appeared in Future First.
The simple pleasures of Ordinary Time
One great phrase of the Church of England, which is little-known but carries a wealth of rich meaning, is ‘ordinary time’. While the seasons of Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost and Advent all have their fixtures and moments for focus and concentration, the bulk of the summer months is ‘ordinary time’! A very evocative phase – nothing particularly to focus on or to celebrate.
Just because it is ‘ordinary’, it does not mean it is not important or of no significance to how God wants us to use our lives. For most of us life is lived between high and low points: we look forward to something on the horizon or we are seeking to recover from something. So, it should be no surprise that ordinary time is the longest season in the Church calendar. Abraham Lincoln once said that: “God must love ordinary people because He made so many of them”!
Ordinary people, it seems to me, need ‘ordinary time’. Sundays and weekdays in-between, to sense God’s presence with us in the day-to-day mundane, and ordinary comings and goings of life. He is there in the heights of resurrection joy and celebration. He is with us in the vulnerability and frailty of human weakness, modelled in the incarnation. He is with us in our efforts to discipline ourselves and be moulded by him (Lent) but He is also with us whenever we are conscious of life just being ordinary. When our eyes are opened to these things, we will see what an extraordinary God we have!
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6th June – Ini Kopuria , Founder of the Melanesian Brotherhood
An armed policeman gets injured while sorting out a village dispute. Nothing unusual in that.
But then, while recovering in hospital in 1924, he has an intense spiritual experience. He becomes a Christian. Because he is energetic and fearless, he then decides to return to the villages where he had been a policeman, but now as an evangelist.
As he told his Bishop, “I have visited all the villages as a police sergeant, and they all know me. Why not go to them now as a missionary”?
Such was the early life of Ini Korpuria. He had been born about 1900 on Guadalcanal, in the Solomon Islands. Schooled at the Melanesian mission, he had rejected their plan to make him a teacher. Independent and adventurous, Ini had chosen instead a career in the Native Armed Constabulary of the Solomon Islands Protectorate.
But now, with the help of his bishop, Ini drew up a Rule, constituted his Brotherhood, and took vows in October 1925. The following year six other young men joined him, and off they went to the villages. Their aim was pure evangelism – “to declare the way of Jesus Christ among the heathen; not to minister to those who have already received the law.”
It was a very Melanesian institution, in that the brothers took vows of poverty, chastity and obedience not for life, but on an annual basis. Working in pairs, they aimed to follow Christ’s example of prayer, mission and service. Ini was head brother until he stepped down in 1940, married, and ministered as a village deacon until his death in 1945.
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Editor: The Revd Dr Jo White considers…
Reflecting Faith: An Offer You Do Not Want to Refuse
For the last couple of months, we’ve been thinking about baptism, and last time we finished by saying that, even as late as the tenth century, only baptised people could stay in the church to watch, never mind actually consume, the celebration of the Eucharist.
This tells me how highly regarded the consecration of the bread and wine actually were, and still are, within the Church. Even today this is still the ‘highlight’ of the main Sunday service.
Everything we do within the service leads up to this special moment, when the priest offers the bread and wine to the people.
Prior to this, we’ve said prayers of penitence and have been absolved. We have heard stories from the Bible and had them expanded upon in a sermon.
We have stated our faith in response to this, and recognised God’s awesome power by saying prayers of intercession for ourselves and others.
We have acknowledged God’s amazing gifts of love and peace by sharing this with those around us, and we responded by offering to Him our gifts as token of our whole lives.
And then – finally we get to the Eucharistic Prayer.
As soon as this is concluded and the priest invites the congregation to come forward to receive the consecrated bread and wine, we are ‘so overwhelmed’ by the enormity of what is being offered to each of us that we ‘fall on our knees’ with the Prodigal Son and say, “Lord I am not worthy’.
This month: When you next go to a Communion Service, take note of the pattern of it as a whole and then ‘think’ about how you feel as you are invited to take the bread and wine.
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Like Father, Like Son
‘Dead Ringer’ is the odd phrase we use when referring to someone who looks like somebody else. Sometimes, instead, we say ‘spitting image’ when we see a likeness or similarity between one person and another.
This month includes Fathers’ Day (15th June) and is an occasion when dads are particularly remembered by their children. As far as the boys are concerned, how many have heard someone say ‘Oh, you really look like your father’?
One day, Jesus was talking to His disciples and said, “Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father” (Jn 14:9) What an amazing statement! Jesus was saying that He was the dead ringer or spitting image of God! At another time Jesus said, “I am in the Father and the Father is in Me.” (Jn 14.10) These words must have shocked His hearers, for He was saying that He was equal with God. No one had said anything like this before, but certainly His miracles were proof that He was different. No-one else could do what He was doing. Some people wondered—could He really be who He said He was?
So Jesus attempted to make His position clear and said, “If you knew Me you would know the Father also.”(Jn 8:19) The people were being urged to know Jesus more. They had to look, listen and believe. Were His deeds of God or not? They had to decide!
Today, we all stand in a similar position. Who is Jesus? Do we look at Him and say ’Yes, this is God in the flesh’ or ’No, He was just a good person — but also perhaps, deluded or crazy?’
Thomas, the disciple with the nickname ‘doubter’, exclaimed: “My Lord and my God” (Jn 20:28). Thomas was convinced that he was in the presence of God, in human form. And when the Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Colossae he said clearly: ‘It was by God’s own decision that the Son has in Himself the full nature of God’ (Colossians 1:19). Like Father, like Son!
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Father’s Day – what we most value in our fathers
Father’s Day is 15th June – a day to honour and appreciate our fathers and father figures, such as grandfathers and fathers-in-law. Many of us will make a special effort to see them on the day.
No two fathers are alike, of course, but various polls across the internet reveal some interesting similarities of what people have most valued in their dad.
These traits include: being dependable, approachable, protective, patient, affectionate, honest, willing to listen, compassionate, and having spent time with them when they were young.
That’s quite a list! People whose fathers had even some of those strengths have a lot to be thankful for.
Thankfully, our Father in Heaven certainly has all those traits. Jesus said the Father is totally dependable and protective of us, longs for us to turn to Him, and is full of compassion and love. And we are to call Him ‘Abba’ – Daddy!
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Canon Paul Hardingham considers the difference one person can make.
Barnabas – a very likeable disciple
This month we remember St Barnabas, whose real name was Joseph, a wealthy Levite from Cyprus. However, he was better known by his nickname, which means ‘Son of Encouragement’ (Acts 4:36). Throughout Acts we see him encouraging others in different ways.
Barnabas was an example of generous giving (Acts 4:36-7), when he sold property and offered the money to the church for those in need. In the midst of an already caring and sharing community, he was singled out as a symbol of generosity. Are we known as somebody who is generous to those in need around us?
Barnabas later encouraged a new Christian in the person of Paul (Acts 9:27). After Paul’s conversion and knowing his reputation, Barnabas came alongside him and brought him into the fellowship of the church. Are we ready to help those who are new in the faith to find a place in our church?
Finally, Barnabas was sent to the church in Antioch where he ‘saw the evidence of the grace of God’ (Acts 11:23). It was a church which brought Jewish and Gentile believers together for the first time. Like Barnabas, do we rejoice when we see God doing new things in people’s lives? Are we also willing to embrace these things and facilitate change?
Encouragement is one of the spiritual gifts in the New Testament (Romans 12:8). It can be greatly undervalued, but it is crucial in growing the church. Like Barnabas, will we nurture gifting; strengthen the doubters and those tempted to give up; show generosity to God’s people and beyond the church; alongside strengthening people to move beyond their own comfort zones to help those in need?
Let’s be prepared to ask the following questions: ‘Are there people alongside us who will encourage us?’ and ‘How can we be encouragers to others?’
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Praying with the Prayers of the Bible – Praying with Penitential Tears
Psalm 51:2; ‘Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.’
Psalm 51 is the most personal, the most passionate and the most profound prayer for forgiveness found anywhere in the Bible.
Without any introduction, explanation or excuse, the Psalmist cries out, ‘Have mercy on me, O God.’ Jewish and Christian scholars have almost been unanimous in seeing this Psalm as David’s personal prayer for pardon, following his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and then scheming to have her husband Uriah killed (2 Samuel 11).
As we go through the Psalm, its various stages take us from deep contrition to joyful testimony. First, the confession; vv.1-4. As David bares his soul to God, there is no blaming other people, no excuses made, no pleading special circumstances.
‘Have mercy on me, O God.’ Notice the personal pronouns. ‘My transgressions,’ twice (vv.1 and 3); ‘my iniquity;’ ‘mysin,’ twice (vv.2 and 3). And David knows that while he has sinned against his own family and against the murdered Uriah, all sin is ultimately against God. ‘Against Thee, thee only, have I sinned’ (v.4).
Second, the condition; vv.5-6. While David alone is responsible for the sins he has committed, he recognises that he is part of fallen, sinful humanity. Both Judaism and Christianity have a doctrine of original sin. So deep and all pervasive is the condition of fallen humanity that he speaks of being ‘conceived’ in sin and ‘brought forth’ in iniquity (v.5).
Although some commentators have tried to dismiss this teaching here by saying that David was conceived out of wedlock, its implications are far more profound. In v.6 he speaks about ‘the inward being’ and ‘my secret heart.’ David knows only too well that behind the sins he has committed lies a human heart prone to sin, attracted by sin and enticed to sin.
Third, the cleansing; vv. 7-12. With this deep, penitential confession of his transgressions, his iniquity and his sin, David now cries out for the only remedy – God’s power to conquer human sin. The prayer began with a plea for mercy (v.1) and then followed the repeated petitions for the ‘blotting out,’ the ‘washing’ and the ‘cleansing’ from sin. Now the plea is for something deeper still; ‘Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.’ (v.7).
But David wants still more, and so we have the prayer in v.10; ‘Create in me a clean heart.’ And still David prays, ‘Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.’
Resulting from this sincere confession and heart-felt prayer for forgiveness and cleansing, comes the assurance of God’s gracious answer. When David is spiritually restored, he will teach others the way of God’s salvation (v.13) and praise God for his own deliverance (v.14).
So Psalm 51 promises forgiveness, cleansing, restoration and a place to serve God when we, in true penitence, make the same unqualified confessions of our sins.
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June Crossword
Across
8 Laban complained he had not been allowed to kiss them (Genesis 31) (13)
9 In favour of (3)
10 ‘The child’s father and mother — at what was said about him’ (Luke 2) (9)
11 Swagger (Psalm 12) (5)
13 ‘Terrors — him on every side and dog his every step’ (Job 18) (7)
16 Bay bits (anag.) (7)
19 Preach, address an audience, speak in public (5)
22 Holy Communion (9)
24 ‘On their way to — out the land, Joshua instructed them’ (Joshua 18) (3)
25 Joseph advised Pharaoh to appoint these (Genesis 41) (13)
Down
1 ‘Assyria’s pride will be brought down and — sceptre will pass away’ (Zechariah 10) (6)
2 ‘And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in — with God and men’ (Luke 2) (6)
3 The descendants of Esau (Genesis 36) (8)
4 The components of the crown (John 19) (6)
5 Colour of cloth which was to cover holy objects in the tabernacle (Numbers 4) (4)
6 One of the gold articles plundered from the Midianites (Numbers 31) (6)
7 ‘The children’s teeth are set — — ’ (Jeremiah 31) (2,4)
12 Ate (anag.) (3)
14 ‘As we wait eagerly for our — as sons’ (Romans 8) (8)
15 Abram’s nephew (Genesis 14) (3)
16 Rupture (Job 30) (6)
17 ‘He gave the right to — children of God’ (John 1) (6)
18 ‘I... asked him the true meaning of all — . — he told me’ (Daniel 7) (4,2)
20 Military units (Exodus 14) (6)
21 ‘And did not want to — her to public disgrace’ (Matthew 1) (6)
23 Diva (anag.) (4)
May Answers
ACROSS: 1, Baby. 3, Stimulus. 8, Liar. 9, Forsaken. 11, Episcopacy. 14, Eagles. 15, Clergy. 17, Strengthen. 20, Holiness. 21, Obed. 22, Bethesda. 23, Stay.
DOWN: 1, Believer. 2, Beatings. 4, Troops. 5, Musicology. 6, Like. 7, Sent. 10, Acceptance. 12, Prohibit. 13, Dying day. 16, Sensed. 18, Ahab. 19, Blot.
Winners Peter Warren
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June Anagrams
PLAYWRIGHTS
Rearrange these letters to form the names 12 playwrights from the twentieth century. Not all of them were British, but they all wrote in English.
One of the answers requires three words; all the others consist of two only.
1. MARY FINCHALE 2. PHIL RENTAROD 3. TREE TENANT CRAIG 4. SHARPER FFEET
5. WEAR GREEN HOGBARDS 6. HARRI MURTELL 7. LANDO CROWE 8. PROMPT AS DOT 9. NANNE BATTLE
10. EMAIL WITNESS LENSE 11. A RAY CONNA CLUB 12. METTS BLUE CAKE
Compiled by Peter Warren
May Anagram Answers
AT THE THEATRE:
1. AUDITORIUM 2. COSTUMES 3. GALLERY 4. INTERVAL 5. ICE CREAM 6. STAGE DOOR 7. PROGRAMME
8. BOX OFFICE 9. ORCHESTRA PIT 10. GREENROOM 11. CURTAIN CALL 12. STANDING OVATION
Winner: Wyn Hirst
Send your answers with your name to the editors.
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June Sudoku
May Answer
Winner Jack Thompson
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David Pickup, a solicitor, considers the process of contacting God.
“Thank you for your call. It’s important to us”
Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin? Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up quickly; your vindicator shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rearguard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry for help, and He will say, Here I am. (Isaiah 58.6-9a)
I spend a lot of time trying to communicate with people. Technology should make it easy, but it can be a nightmare. Trying to log on to websites, changed passwords, secret words, and then getting ‘no-reply emails’ demanding information, but there is no way to give it to them! Then holding on a phone, trying to talk to someone human, and going through security questions.
Yesterday, after a difficult time trying to sign documents online, which all had to be signed at the same time, I came across this passage. It is a beautiful insight in trying to get through to God. God does not ask security questions, your mother’s milkman’s name or your cat’s date of birth. God does expect us to have similar priorities and the sense of justice. We may not always get the answer we want, but He will answer.
Any questions? Please call. Your call is important to Him.
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by Tim Lenton
Kitchener and that poster from the First World War
Some 175 years ago, on 24th June 1850, Herbert Kitchener, the 1st Earl Kitchener, was born. This Irish-born British Army officer and politician became Secretary of War during the First World War, when he appeared on an iconic poster asking people to join the army.
Kitchener already had a fearsome reputation, having been responsible for big colonial victories in Sudan and South Africa. He was very widely admired by the British people, though his cool personality and eagerness to push his men to the limit made him disliked by fellow officers. But he was also described as a godly man “who did noble deeds and obtained noble results”.
He had been on leave in England in June 1914 when he reluctantly accepted an appointment to the Cabinet as Secretary of State for War and was promoted to Field Marshal. Most people expected a short war, but Kitchener did not; he went about enlisting a great number of volunteers – a campaign symbolised for most people by Alfred Leete’s poster using Kitchener’s own face with the slogan ‘Your country needs you’.
He organised British armies on a scale never seen before, but he was not to see victory. His life ended suddenly when he was drowned after the cruiser HMS Hampshire, taking him on a mission to Russia, was sunk in 1916 by a German mine. His body was never recovered, and the wreck is now a war grave. His death has been likened to the deaths of President Kennedy and Princess Diana – everyone remembered where they were when they heard the news.
A memorial fund launched by the Lord Mayor of London raised £500,000 to help war casualties and continues today. A Kitchener memorial was built by the people of Orkney on the cliff edge at Marwick Head.
Mini is named the best-ever British car
What is your favourite British car? Think of the Land Rover, Aston Martin, McLaren, Bentley and Rolls Royce. Then think of the Mini
.
That is what a group of judges for the Auto Express did recently, and they chose the Mini.
Their verdict? “Put simply, we reckon no other British- built vehicle better represents the relevant, innovative and pioneering UK automotive industry quite like the world’s original small car.”
Phil McNamara, editor at large, Auto Express, adds: “there was only ever going to be one winner of our Top 50 Brit cars rundown. The Mini was crowned undisputed champion.”
It was in the late 1950s that the British Motor Corporation (BMC) asked car designer Alec Issigonis to come up with a sub-three-metre compact car that could accommodate a family of four. The result was the Mini, soon beloved of the public, celebrities and even (in a modified version) racing drivers.
The modern version of a Mini Cooper is nearly 90cm longer than the original, and prices starts at about £25,000.
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Editor: The Revd Dr Gary Bowness continues his tongue-in-cheek letters from ‘Uncle Eustace’…
The Rectory
St James the Least of All
My dear Nephew Darren
Much against my better judgement, after a recent series of small thefts, we have installed security cameras here at St James the Least of All. Thank goodness the suggestion for trip wires that opened the gate to Mrs Poppleroy’s garden next door, thereby setting loose her deranged Pekingese, was narrowly defeated – though I had to use my casting vote.
So now we have a complete record of everything that goes on when no one is about. It makes such interesting viewing that I have cancelled my television licence and spend every evening watching the antics of my parishioners. I wonder if there is some niche television channel which would be interested; it could help the tower restoration fund no end.
Miss Margison seems to imagine she is now part of some theatrical performance every time she cleans the church; her body language as she wields a feather duster is of operatic proportions, as is her final bow to the cameras as she leaves.
I have at last found the several hiding places where Mr Prentice secretes his bottle of whisky every week when he comes to wind the tower clock.
Colonel Wainwright, who served for some time in the security services, is now worried that photographs of him cleaning the brass will be circulated in Russia. He fails to appreciate that his disguise as a French onion seller, with striped jersey, beret and waxed moustache does tend to make his presence rather more interesting than he imagines – to us, if not to the KGB.
The flower arrangers seem to imagine that we are recording sound as well as pictures and so whenever they are in church together, all gossip is written down and passed round by hand as they work in total silence. So far, they have remembered to take their pieces of paper home with them. One slip and I shall probably learn more about my parishioners in five minutes than I have done in the last five years.
The cameras have also solved the mystery of who has been pilfering the items – and even the nest where they have hidden it. If only I could teach the magpies to extract money from pockets and place it on the collection plate.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
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Our polluted water systems
Raw sewage continues to pour into our rivers and lakes. Water pollution is up by a third, with some 2,487 incidents recorded in the last year alone.
Last year, although firms were given an Environment Agency (EA) target of 40 per cent reduction in pollution incidents, instead such incidents rose by 30 per cent more. (Figures obtained under freedom of information laws.)
EA figures released in March showed that storm overflows spilled sewage into England’s rivers, lakes and coasts for a new high of more than 3.61 million hours in 2024.
Meanwhile, water bills are going up by about £86 this year, and water companies face accusations of having let their critical infrastructure crumble over many years.
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Jet lag is worse when you travel east
Do your holiday plans involve travelling from west to east this year? Then prepare yourself for some sleep disruption, while your body adjusts.
A recent study at the Centre of Sleep and Cognition at the NUS Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine in Singapore has found that travelling east can really impede your body’s natural ‘sleep timing’. This is because you are in effect ‘losing time’.. and that runs in opposition to your body’s natural circadian rhythm, or body clock.
In plain speak, this means you may find it hard to fall asleep in conformity with your new local time zone. It can take more than a week to adjust, if you have travelled east across multiple time zones. Men and women are affected the same, though the old are slightly less affected than the young.
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What about Facebook after you die?
The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death’ (Isaiah 57:1-2 NIV)
What happens to our Facebook page when we die is probably the last thing on most of our minds. However, many people have an ‘online presence’ such as Facebook pages, Linked-in, email accounts, Instagram and all sorts of bank accounts and website pages. Who can get access to that information?
Depending on the type of account, a relative or friend might want to close it, retrieve information or images or preserve it in some way. Making a Will is an opportunity to make a clear decision about what happens to things you own, and this includes something electronic and who carries out your wishes.
According to Facebook, you can choose to either appoint a legacy contact to look after your account, or have your account permanently deleted from Facebook. If you do not choose to have your account permanently deleted, it will be memorialised if Facebook are told about the death. Memorialised accounts are a place for friends and family to gather and share memories after a person has passed away.
Google encourages people to think about these issues and they have something called an 'Inactive Account Manager' to let them know who should have access to your information, and whether you want your account to be deleted.
They recognise that many people pass away without leaving clear instructions about how to manage their online accounts. They work with immediate family members and representatives to close the account of a deceased person where appropriate. In certain circumstances they may provide content from a deceased user’s account.
The best advice is to think carefully and make choices about what happens in the event of your passing, and carefully select someone you trust to do this. As ever this is a light-hearted introduction and if in any doubt get proper advice. Different companies have different policies and procedures so always check carefully.
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People who can’t see should not drive!
So says a coroner, following a spate of four deaths caused by drivers who, in one case, could barely see his own steering wheel.
Dr James Adeley, the senior coroner for Lancashire, has said that letting motorists self-certify their fitness to drive is the ‘laxest system in Europe’, and is highly ineffective. And, until it is changed, road deaths will continue to be caused by drivers with failing eyesight.
Dr Adeley has sent a report to Heidi Alexander, the Transport Secretary, calling for action. He points out that the UK is one of only a handful of countries to use ‘self-reporting’ of any visual conditions that affect one’s ability to drive
.
Dr Adeley said: “The current system for ‘ensuring drivers meet the visual legal standards is ineffective, unsafe and unfit to meet the needs of society.”
The Department for Transport has responded: “The NHS recommends adults should have their eyes tested every two years and drivers are legally required to inform the DVLA if they have a condition which affects their eyesight.
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Gen Z drivers hesitate to park their own cars
Two thirds of all Gen Z drivers (aged 18-to-28 years old) have asked their parents or friends to park their car for them. 96% admit they are anxious about parallel or reverse parking.
This compares to 28 per cent of Generation X (aged 45 to 60) who have asked for help in parking, and 14 per cent of Baby Boomers (aged 61 to 70)
.
The research, carried out by online British car retailer Cazoo, also found that Gen Z drivers get most anxious about ‘parking while others are waiting’ (47 per cent), ‘parking between two cars close together’ (43 per cent) and ‘parallel parking’ (40 per cent).
97 per cent of Gen Z drivers admit that they even sometimes park further away from their destination, in order to find a roomier space.
Another recent survey, by Enterprise Mobility, has found that Gen Z drivers are paying thousands extra for an electric car, rather than use a petrol or diesel model. Some under-25s are even spending more than £16,000, to buy an EV as their first car.
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by Tim Lenton
Climbing Annapurna
It was 75 years ago, on 3rd June 1950, that the first successful ascent of Annapurna in the Himalayas was made. It was a French expedition – and the first successful ascent of any mountain over 8000 metres. Annapurna is the tenth highest mountain in the world.
It was the first time in a century that any foreigners had been given permission to climb in Nepal, and it was Maurice Herzog and Louis Lachenal who reached the summit – a remarkable feat because the peak was viewed, explored and climbed all within one season; and was climbed without the use of supplemental oxygen. It is also the only 8000-metre summit that has been reached at the first attempt.
Coming down was a struggle. It took two weeks, and the summiteers suffered severe frostbite resulting in emergency amputations: both men lost all their toes and Herzog, who mislaid his gloves near the summit, most of his fingers.
The team had originally intended to climb the slightly higher Dhaulagiri, another 8000m peak nearby, but when reconnoitred it was felt to be impossible. It was climbed ten years later.
Herzog was awarded the 1950 Gold Medal of the Société de Géographie and wrote a book about the Annapurna expedition that sold 15 million copies; he received film-star treatment back in France but later suffered criticism for failing to give Lachenal sufficient credit.
Herzog became the French Minister of Youth and Sport from 1958 to 1963, and mayor of the alpine town of Chamonix-Mont-Blanc. He died aged 93 in December 2012. Lachenal, on the other hand, died only five years after Annapurna: he fell into a snow-covered crevasse while skiing at Chamonix.
Annapurna was not climbed again until 1970, by two separate British expeditions.
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Are bananas really good for you?
On the one hand, bananas offer good things. They count as one of your five a day, carry only about 90 calories, and are packed with the essential mineral potassium (good in lowering blood pressure.) But they are not perfect…
So, here are some pros and cons of bananas:
Pros: High in potassium, good for heart health, lowers blood pressure, has Vitamin C, helps digestion, provides energy, full of fibre, cholesterol-free.
Cons: Can raise potassium levels too much (avoid them if you have kidney disease), can lead to wind and bloating, cause blood sugar spikes, weight gain, and disrupt sleep.
Overall, experts recommend eating no more than two bananas a day.
How many steps a day is enough?
Counting steps has, for many of us, become a part of our lives. We feel triumphant when we hit 10,000, and guilty when we notch up less than 2,000 a day.
But daily steps, which are really no more than regular daily exercise, are not just a gimmick.
Medical research has found that your daily step count, especially when taken over years, really can make a huge difference to your health and life expectancy. The Government’s official statistics cite physical inactivity as responsible for one in six otherwise preventable deaths.
So how many steps do you need to achieve different levels of protection?
2,000 to 3,000 steps a day – or just over a mile. This can help reduce your risk of heart disease.
4,000 to 5,000 steps – can reduce risk of chronic disease and helps reduce risk of cognitive decline. (People who walked this far were found to have a 25 per cent lower risk of dementia.) As a scientist at the European University of Madrid, said: “This is likely because of improved blood flow to the brain, reduced brain inflammation, better metabolism of glucose in the brain, and an increase in beneficial brain chemicals which stimulate neuron growth.”
7,000 to 8,000 steps, about three miles, can provide a 31 per cent lower risk of depression, and it can also lower your risk of cardiovascular disease by 51 per cent.
10,000 steps – about five miles, achieves a wide range of health benefits. But even just 8,800 steps a day has been found to reduce risk of premature death from many diseases by 60 per cent.
As a scientist at the University of Sydney explained: “It’s about setting initial targets that are achievable, and then gradually working your way up to more daily steps, as you build up your capacity to handle more activity.”
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Book Review
Discipleship: Start This Way: Beginning to live as an everyday Christian disciple
By Guy Donegan-Cross, BRF, £9.99
This book emphasises the difference that discipleship can make in our day to day experience. Both a resource for the enquirer and a tool for anyone wanting to support someone in their faith journey, this book provides an accessible and grounded route into the beginnings of discipleship, with a clear explanation of what it looks and feels like to become a disciple and to start to live as one.
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All in the month of June
It was:
500 years ago, on 13th June 1525, that German Protestant Reformer Martin Luther married Katharina von Bora, a nun whom he had helped to escape from a convent.
250 years ago, on 14th June 1775, that the Second Continental Congress established the Continental Army. Later it became the United States Army. On 15th June, George Washington, who would become first President of the USA, became the Army’s Commander-in-Chief. This army would defeat the British army, and America would declare independence the following year, on 4th July 1776.
175 years ago, on 24th June 1850, that Herbert Kitchener, the 1st Earl Kitchener, was born. This Irish-born British Army officer and politician became Secretary of War during WW1, when he appeared on an iconic poster asking people to join the army. He was killed in 1916 when his ship was hit by a German mine.
125 years ago, on 25th June 1900, that Louis Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, was born. He became Governor-General of India (1947-48), First Sea Lord (1955-59), and Chief of the Defence Staff (1959-65). Assassinated in 1979 by an IRA bomb planted on his fishing boat.
90 years ago, on 1st June 1935, that driving tests became compulsory for all new drivers in Britain.
80 years ago, on 22nd June 1945, that the Battle of Okinawa in Japan ended (after 82 days). This battle saw the highest number of casualties in the Pacific Theatre of the war, with more than 12,000 forces, 110,000 Japanese forces, and 140,000 civilians killed.
70 years ago, on 11th June 1955 that the Le Mans disaster took place. A car spun off the track during the Le Mans 24 Hour race in France, and the driver, Pierre Levegh, and 83 spectators were killed, with 100 more injured. It was the greatest loss of life in the history of motorsport, but bizarrely, the race was not stopped. The survivors carried on for the full 24 hours, while the dead and the injured were removed from the site.
50 years ago, on 7th June 1975, that the first Cricket World Cup to be held in England began.
Also 50 years ago, on 18th June 1975, that the first North Sea oil was pumped ashore to Britain.
25 years ago, on 10th June 2000, that the Millenium Bridge opened in London. It closed for a while two days later, when it was found to sway uncomfortably when people walked in step.
15 yeas ago, on 28th June 2010, that the US Supreme Court ruled that American citizens have the right to own a gun, regardless of which state they live in. The right is protected by the Second and the Fourteenth Amendments. There are an estimated 393 million privately owned guns in the USA, and about 340 million people.
**
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Smile Lines
Our next hymn
A visiting minister, seeing the list of hymns chosen for the Sunday service, sent a message to the organist to say that the last hymn (519) did not suit his sermon, and so he wanted it replaced by 213. The organist’s message replied: ‘In this church the organist chooses the hymns and I will play 519.’ The minister shot back: ‘At this service I announce the hymns and I shall still announce 213.’
**
Economy
The vicar asked a member of his congregation, a banker, why he seemed a bit down. The banker replied: “I’m a walking economy! My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression.”
**
Understand
Sometimes I think I understand everything – but then I regain consciousness.
**
Life in the Circus
A couple who worked at the circus wanted to adopt a child. Social workers had doubts about their suitability, but the couple produced photos of their large motorhome, which was equipped with a beautiful nursery. As for education, not only was there a nanny, but also a full-time tutor to teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills. Finally, the social workers were satisfied and had only one last question. “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”
“Oh, we don’t mind at all,” the couple assured them. “As long as he or she fits in the cannon.”
**
Sweets
I gave my four-year-old grand-daughter money for sweets and the church collection plate. Later, seeing her enormous pile of sweets, I got suspicious and asked if she hadn’t also given some money to God in church that morning. “No,” she replied sweetly, “He wasn’t there.”
**
Get a grip
It was said that Archbishop Tench of Dublin, in his later years, had a fear of sudden crippling paralysis. One night at a formal dinner he sat looking more and more forlorn. Finally, he confided to the guests around him: “Well, it’s come at last – total lack of feeling in my right leg.” Whereupon the lady sitting next to him said soothingly: “Not at all, your Grace. It will comfort you to know that during the whole of this meal it has been my leg that you have been pinching!”
**
Encore!
The new curate had visited the local prison and taken along his electric guitar. He was so pleased with the applause that he responded: ‘Thank you very much for your appreciation. I so hope that I will see you all back here again next year.”
**
Crooked politicians
The editor of a small country newspaper, furious over several government bills that had recently been passed, printed a scathing editorial with an enormous headline: ‘HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS.’
Many local politicians were outraged and exerted tremendous pressure on him to print a retraction. He finally gave in to the pressure and ran his apology with the headline: ‘HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS.’
**
Notices in a church newssheet:
– Organist required: to work with small but trying priest and congregation.
– There will be a shared supper at church this Sunday – with prayer and medication to follow.
– The minister would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
**
Good quote
A certain bishop had a fondness for using Bible quotations whenever he visited a function. When he arrived to open a new Maternity Home the organisers thought: “Now we have him stumped.” However, after a few well-chosen words, the bishop smiled and said: “I know you are waiting for a quotation, so here it is: ‘We shall not all sleep, but we shall be changed!’”
**
New patio
My husband was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.
He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day he put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.
He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning. Again, he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.
Observing all this, our next-door neighbour asked, “Are you going to put your patio away every night?”
**
Nays and Ayes
The new pastor at a country church had some exciting ideas for the future. At the elders meeting he presented his vision with great energy and passion. The senior elder then called for a vote. All 12 elders voted “NAY”; only the pastor voted “AYE.”
The pastor was crestfallen, but just at that moment the clouds darkened, thunder rolled, and a streak of lightning burst through the window and struck the table at which they were sitting, throwing the pastor and all the elders to the ground.
As they all got up and dusted themselves off the senior elder said, “Well, that’s 12 votes to two then.”
**
Beware of the new Amazon scam. I asked my husband to order me some expensive jewellery, but motorcycle parts came instead! Thankfully, they fit his bike.
**
It’s weird, being the same age as old people.
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The views expressed in this magazine are those of the contributors and do not necessarily reflect those of St Mary's, it's clergy, the Church of England
or the Editors.