August 2025 Magazine

We as always, thank all who have contacted us and sent us comments and articles for inclusion. Please keep in touch and send us articles.

We would suggest that as there are a lot of articles, especially those of an religious theme , you can dip into them a bit at a time and not read all at once.

Pauline & Bob - co-editors..   

Updated  29th July 2025

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Lester Amann encourages us to ‘phone home’…

Give Him a call!

The phone was a great invention. How easy, to press a few numbers on our small devices and speak to someone the other side of the world. Once a phone was a luxury item; now we take it for granted that this gadget in our pocket enables us to contact anyone, at any time, in any place.

However, how many times have you rung someone, only to be given a recorded message giving a variety of options? Then you must wait in a queue for ages before your call is answered. A voice informs you that ‘your call is important to us’ … but meanwhile you are left waiting, listening to endless music.

Yes, a phone may be useful in all kinds of circumstances, but they can also be very frustrating! So, it’s good to know that God can be contacted immediately we need Him.

There is no celestial call centre where our messages are delayed or referred. With prayer we can call on God directly. This service is free, with no charges. He hears our every call, and we can be confident that our Creator will answer us in ways which are only for our good.

‘When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond.’ (Isaiah 58:9)

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Major investment in local churches and parish clergy as £1.6bn

three-year national spending plans unveiled

The Church Commissioners’ funding towards work of the church is set to leap by 36 per cent in the three-year period 2026-28, amounting to the biggest distribution in Church’s history.

The C of E plans to invest more than £1.6 billion towards sharing the good news of Jesus Christ and serving local communities over the next three years. In total, it plans to invest £4.6 billion over the next nine years, from 2026 to 2034.

Also, the typical stipend is set to rise 10.7 per cent next year, under new proposals as clergy well-being put at centre of spending plans.

On top of that, the funding for churches in the lowest income communities will jump from £91 million spent in the last three years, to £133.5 million.

There will also be a major focus on safeguarding, for which £30 million has been allocated.

The Archbishop of York, Stephen Cottrell, said: “Parishes and clergy are at the heart of everything we do in the Church.” 

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Lord’s Prayer tops Shakespeare, Dickens, Churchill and National Anthem in public recognition poll

People in the UK are more likely to identify correctly a short extract from the Lord’s Prayer – also known as the Our Father – than one from the National Anthem and other sources chosen for their deep cultural resonance, a new poll has found.

The polling, carried out for the Church of England, also found the reference in the prayer to being forgiven and forgiving others was the element people found most meaningful to them.

Pollsters Savanta surveyed more than 2,000 people across the UK. They asked them to match seven famous lines – spanning areas ranging from literature and history to popular culture – with their source, from a list of correct answers.

Overall, the phrase from the Lord’s Prayer was recognised correctly by the largest number of people (80.3 per cent), just ahead of Star Wars (79.9 per cent).

They were followed by Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” (73 per cent) the extract from the National Anthem (63 per cent); the line from Churchill’s ‘The Few’ speech (61 per cent); and You’ll Never Walk Alone (58 per cent).

Overall, 89 per cent of those surveyed said that they had previously heard of the Lord’s Prayer or the Our Father. This was highest among those who described themselves as Christian (95 per cent), but also by 88 per cent of those who said they had no religion.

The Archbishop of York, Stephen Cottrell, is currently leading a ‘Lord’s Prayer Tour’ of events at churches and cathedrals across the north of England attended by thousands of people, as part of his Faith In The North initiative.

He said: “In a world of shifting cultures and changing circumstances, the Lord’s Prayer remains a steady guide – perhaps never more so than now.

“Lines like ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ speak powerfully to today’s challenges, reminding us to seek sufficiency, not excess, and to consider what ‘enough’ truly means.”

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Jean Pagan

On 12^th July, at the age of 93 Jean, a long serving member of St Mary’s Church, passed away peacefully in hospital.

Jean’s husband, Albert, another long serving member of the church, died 18 months ago, and she often said how much she missed him…. They had been married for 68 years! 

Jean was involved in many aspects of church life.  Her main role being Leader of the Mother’s Union… a job she took very seriously and was very proud of.   She organized monthly meetings with various speakers, and along with other members, she knitted many clothes for babies in the Neo-natal unit at James Cook Hospital. 

She was always one of the first to volunteer when there were Coffee Mornings in the church hall and was always seen in the kitchen when Advent or Lent Lunches took place.

Jean also took great pride in helping to clean the church on a regular basis, along with a small number of others.

She supported Albert for many years in his role as Churchwarden and Treasurer.

Jean and Albert joined the choir in their later years, Albert singing bass and Jean soprano, and very rarely missed a practice!  They were an inseparable pair!

A quiet gentle lady, Jean will be very much missed.

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              August Diary Page

Holy Communion service each Sunday at 9.00am (Said BCP service)

Sung Eucharist each Sunday at 10.00am      (Common Worship)

Holy Communion each Tuesday at 10.00am  (Said BCP service)

Said Evening Prayer each Sunday at 6.30pm.

BIBLE STUDY (via ZOOM) EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 7pm DURING TERM TIME.

PRAYER MEETING FIRST MONDAY IN THE MONTH 7pm IN CHURCH

 All services at the usual times

NO BIBLE STUDY DURING AUGUST.

SUNDAYS

9am                Holy Communion  BCP

10am               Parish Communion

6.30pm          Evening Prayer

TUESDAYS

10am              Holy Communion 

SATURDAY 3^rd  

9.30am            Churchyard tidy / Church cleaning 

NO COFFEE MORNING DURING AUGUST

THE NEXT ONE WILL BE HELD ON WEDNESDAY 10^th SEPTEMBER

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Parish Pump Contributors

Dr Peter Brierley has been involved with church research for over 40 years, working initially with the government and then moving to the Bible Society, before starting MARC Europe which changed its name to Christian Research in 1993. He launched the UK Christian Handbook in 1972. He lives in Kent, where he now runs a private research consultancy for churches throughout the country. He edits FutureFirst a bi-monthly bulletin ‘providing facts for forward planning’.

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 Prayer grows in popularity

Well over three million people have now used the Church of England’s Daily Prayer podcast and app, which offers Morning and Evening Prayer in audio form.

Launched during the pandemic, the service has seen over 12 million downloads, with thousands tuning in each day. Blending scripture, music, and reflection, it reflects a wider resurgence of interest in regular prayer and spiritual rhythm, showing that ancient words continue to find new life in modern formats.

Canon Paul Hardingham considers a bedrock of our Christian belief: that God is Trinity. 

The Nicene Creed part 3:  The Incarnate Jesus

For us men and for our salvation He came down from heaven; by the power of the Holy Spirit He became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, and was made man. For our sake He was crucified under Pontius Pilate; He suffered death and was buried.

In this study we are looking at what the Nicene Creed says about the ministry of Jesus on earth.

‘For us men and for our salvation He came down from heaven’: Jesus came down to earth to save us all.Salvation involves healing and rescuing us from the wrong things in our lives, which result in death itself. The Creed demonstrates the importance of having a proper understanding of Christ that safeguards the gospel of salvation. ‘For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.’ (Luke 19:10).

‘by the power of the Holy Spirit He became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, and was made man’:

Although the word ‘incarnate’ doesn’t appear in the New Testament, it expresses the meaning of Jesus’ birth. Heresies of the time included Adoptionism (i.e. Jesus became God’s Son only at His baptism) and Docetism (i.e. Jesus appeared to be human, as a fully divine being). The incarnation affirms that the divine son, was conceived in Mary’s womb by the power of the Spirit and born in time as a human being: ‘The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy One to be born will be called the Son of God.’ (Luke 1:35). If Jesus was not conceived both fully divine and human, the Christian understanding of salvation is lost.

‘For our sake He was crucified under Pontius Pilate; He suffered death and was buried’:

In the Creed we move straight from Jesus’ birth to His death, which is the climax of His ministry. Jesus dying for our sins on the cross lies at the heart of God’s plan of salvation. The mention of Pontius Pilate roots our faith in history and reminds us of the important part people played in God’s plan. ‘He himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.’ (1 Peter 2:24).

What is the place of the incarnation in your understanding of the Christian Faith?

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by Canon Paul Hardingham

Transfiguration

‘There Must Be More to Life Than This’. These words from Freddie Mercury of Queen will resonate with many of us, when we are looking to get more out of life, even as Christians. At a deeper level, we want to see and hear more clearly what God is doing in our circumstances. The Transfiguration of Jesus, which we remember this month, helps us to consider this issue (Luke 9:28-36).

Jesus was transfigured alongside Moses and Elijah, ‘As He was praying, the appearance of His face changed, and His clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning.’ (29). To understand our circumstances, firstly we need to see Jesus as God wants us to see Him. The disciples’ eyes were opened to see Jesus’ divinity. The presence of Moses and Elijah confirmed Him as God’s promised Messiah. By helping us the grasp who Jesus really is, this event powerfully calls us to entrust our lives into Jesus’ hands to experience His presence and power.

Secondly, if we are to make sense of our circumstances, we need to hear what God says about His Son. A cloud covered them and ‘a voice came from the cloud, saying, ‘This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to Him.” (35). God affirmed His love and call on Jesus as His beloved and chosen Son. Do we hear God speaking these same words to us? When we know that we too are loved and accepted by God, this transforms our understanding of our lives.

Whatever our circumstances, they can be transformed by what we see and hear. Open your eyes to see a transfigured world. Open your ears to hear a transfiguring voice. Open your heart to become a transfigured life.

‘No one who meets Jesus ever stays the same.’ (Philip Yancey)

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Government Spending Review 2025 – Bishops respond

Responding to the Chancellor’s recent statement on the Comprehensive Spending Review, the Bishop of Newcastle, Helen-Ann Hartley, and Bishop of Manchester, David Walker have issued a statement.  Here is some of what they said:

“How the Government allocates public money, especially at a time of fiscal constraints, is a reflection of its priorities.

“We applaud the Government’s focus on increasing the supply of affordable and social housing, and hope that this renewed investment will move us towards the vision outlined in the Archbishops’ Commission’s ‘Coming Home’ report that all housing should be safe, stable, sustainable, sociable and satisfying. More broadly, the focus on building up our social and economic infrastructure is necessary and welcome.

This includes rural communities, particularly with regard to the importance of sustainability and the green transition in these contexts.

“The additional investment in the NHS will be essential for meeting existing need and for the upcoming reform agenda, all of which should help people to live healthier lives.

“However, the lack of attention on essential adult social care services, as well as preventative and community-based care, is something we hope will be remedied in future, including through the Casey Commission.

“Closer to home, we welcome the Government’s first steps towards driving down child poverty, through direct interventions such as the extension of free school meals, as well as legislating around the wider causes such as working conditions and security of tenure for renters. We look forward to the publication of a child poverty strategy later this year which builds on this by abolishing the two-child limit and benefit cap, giving hope and opportunity to children and their families right across the country.

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 Editor: The Revd Dr Jo White considers… 

Reflecting Faith:  Saying ‘Farewell

Last month we considered how we are welcomed at the beginning of a church service, as we come together to enter into the real presence of God.

This month let’s consider how we say ‘goodbye’ at the end of the service.

For the leader of the service doesn’t just say something like, “Thanks for coming, lovely to see you – have a great week.” Rather, there’s a promise and a blessing for each of us as we take what we have ‘received’ from the service into the world.

So the crunch question is: what do you get out of coming to a church service?

The ideal is: You have been met with a friendly welcome followed by music you love, played at the perfect speed with no squeaky singers in the congregation. Then, an inspiring sermon which gives you something to think about for the coming week.

After that, prayers that speak of what is on your heart and what you have heard on the news that week. Finally, good fellowship and a cuppa after the service, where you can feel part of ‘them’, rather than ignored because you are only visiting.

Following all that good stuff, you go out of the church with a spring in your step!

Of course, in the real world not all those boxes get ticked.

But still, we can go to church with hope, and ideally, we leave it in peace. The time that we spend together is the ‘easy’ bit. The real challenge begins when we go out the door and back into the daily round of home life and work. But we can be sure that we do not leave God at the church door. He always comes home with us, and He is there to help us throughout the coming week. That is why we can indeed ‘go in peace’.

This month

When you next go to a church service take note of the leader’s closing words and your expected responses to them. How heartily can you agree with them? How do they make you feel?

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Christian media owner calls on Elon Musk to become more accountable

Sir Paul Marshall, an evangelical Christian and prominent British media owner has called on Elon Musk and the bosses of other social media platforms to publish the algorithms that determine the visibility of posts – and to become more accountable.

Speaking in a lecture at Oxford University, Sir Paul, a leading investor in TV channel GB News, and owner of The Spectator magazine and UnHerd, the news and opinion website, called on the Big Tech platforms to make major changes to the way they operate.

He said, “Social media platforms like X, Bluesky or Meta should be required to publish all the algorithms that they use to analyse or influence our preferences. Elon Musk believes in open source and transparency for manufacturing. He should do the same for X.

“We should all be able to know how the algorithms work which place certain stories and characters in our timeline and not others.”

Sir Paul also called on the platforms to become more accountable. He explained, “Social media platforms should be regulated as common carriers. Under the current regulations, they are exempted from any of the responsibilities of a traditional publisher. They have power without responsibility. Effectively, those who post are treated as publishers.

“The platforms cannot be held to account for what is published, yet they still enjoy many of the powers of a publisher.

“This is wrong, and platforms need to have less power and more accountability. At the very least, there need to be constraints around them such as you would impose on a bank or a railway. They should not be allowed to refuse or suspend accounts or to actively demote the visibility of a post, unless it is in clear breach of the law.”

Sir Paul is a leading philanthropist, supporting a wide range of charities. He is known as a member and supporter of Holy Trinity Brompton Church, London, the home of the internationally successful Alpha Course.

He was giving a lecture hosted by The Pharos Foundation, an Oxford-based research institution and educational charity.

Sir Paul explained: “The key overriding principle for me is to ensure that there is a golden thread of responsibility and accountability running through everything, whether that be the platforms, the publishers or self-publishing individuals.”

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7th August – John Mason Neale, hymn writer and re-writer

If you are the sort of person who looks at the small print beside hymns in the hymnal, then you may recognise the name J. M. Neale. For not only did he write some of our most beloved hymns, but he also translated many dozens more from the Latin, old German, or old French. J. M. Neale was so prolific, in fact, that fully one-tenth of the hymns in our English Hymnal are his.

So, who was he? Born in London in 1818, educated Trinity College Cambridge, and ordained in 1841, he was aiming for the parish of Crawley. But chronic ill health left him too weak for parish life, and so he was appointed warden of an alms-house in East Grinstead, where he lived and worked for the rest of his life.

Neale used the peace and quiet of his job to good effect: producing All glory laud and honour, Jerusalem the golden, O happy band of pilgrims, The Day of Resurrection, O come, O come Emmanuel, and Christ is made the sure foundation, among many many others.

But Neale’s writing of hymns was only part of his wider passion for the worship and liturgical practices of the Early Church. At a time when Anglo-Catholics were ‘in fashion’, Neale provided an important balance by reminding the Church of its largely forgotten Eastern heritage.

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Praying with the Prayers of the Bible – the Prayer from the Depth of Despair

Read Jonah 2:2-9.

Twice in the Bible there is a record of prayers prayed in hell. In Jesus’ parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus, the former prayed for both release from his torment and that a warning would be sent to his family (Luke 16:24-31).

Here in the book of Jonah this chapter opens with the words, ‘Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God’ (v.1) The prophet prayed from what he described as ‘the belly of hell’ (KJV), or ‘from the depth of Sheol’ (v.2).

The first chapter of the book tells how Jonah was commissioned by God to go and preach in Ninevah, the capital city of the great Assyrian Empire. Instead, Jonah ran away from his home country, from (he thought) the presence of God and from hearing God’s command. The Assyrians had long been the all-conquering enemies of Israel and Jonah was either afraid to go to Ninevah, or he did not want them to hear God’s word – or both.

So, he ran away and took ship for Tarshish (i.e. Spain). During a violent storm he confessed to the sailors that he had disobeyed God and reluctantly they threw him overboard (1:12-14).  The Lord had ‘appointed a great fish’ which swallowed the prophet and from deep inside its belly, he prayed to the Lord. God heard Jonah’s prayer, the fish spewed him out and his life was spared (2:10).

Jonah’s prayer, prayed when he was sure he was about to die, has much to reach us about praying.  First, even in our disobedience, God hears us when we pray humbly and sincerely.  Jonah’s terrible calamity was directly the result of his running away from God. It wasn’t because of circumstances, it wasn’t inevitable, it wasn’t fate or just ‘one of those things;’ it was his disobedience that brought about the disaster. How gracious God is! Even in our running away from Him, He still loves us and hears our prayers.

Second, we can pray anywhere. If Jonah could cry to the Lord when, in his own words, ‘in the heart of the seas,’ when ‘all the waves and billows’ passed over him (v.3), how many places may we not find to come before the Lord in prayer? There is the quiet time at the day’s beginning, a moment of reflection in a busy schedule, between meetings, as we drive the car or travel in the bus, or plane or ship – so many places where we can ‘lift up our hearts’ to the Lord.

Third, no situation is too difficult for God. The God who ‘hurled a great wind upon the sea’ (1:4), who ‘appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah’ (1:17); who prepared ‘a plant’ and ‘a worm’ to bring about His purposes (4:6,7), is the Sovereign Lord of earth and heaven. He can hear us and help us in our deepest distress, in the hours when life seems to be tumbling in all round us.

Fourth, the Lord can deliver! Jonah’s prayer from the depth of hell ends with the ringing assurance, ‘Deliverance belongs to the Lord’ (2:9). We all need to hear that! Today, whatever our need, our pain, our disappointment, our fear, our weakness, our besetting sin – with the Lord there is deliverance.

Dr Herbert McGonigle, now retired, was Senior Lecturer in Historical Theology & Church History, Nazarene Theological College, Manchester

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August Crossword

Across

1  ‘The people were — at his teaching’ (Mark 1) (6)

4  ‘He saved —; let him save himself’ (Luke 23) (6)

8  He addressed the crowd on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2) (5)

9  Father of James and John (Matthew 4) (7)

10 One who charges another with an offence (Job 31) (7)

11 ‘ — thy ministers with righteousness’ (Book of Common Prayer) (5)

12 and 15 Down ‘All — is God-breathed and is — for teaching’ (2 Timothy 3) (9,6)

17 ‘No — of the field had yet appeared on the earth’ (Genesis 2) (5)

19 Made to feel embarrassed (Isaiah 24) (7)

21 This man built his house on sand (Matthew 7) (7)

22 David’s hypocritical message to Joab: ‘Don’t let this — you’ (2 Samuel 11) (5)

23 Detest (Job 10:1) (6)

24 ‘Greater light to govern the day and the — light to govern the night’ (Genesis 1) (6)

Down

1  To make a serious request (1 Corinthians 1) (6)

2  Launches an assault against (Genesis 32) (7)

3  ‘The wicked man — deceptive wages’ (Proverbs 11) (5)

5  Tuba ale (anag.) (7)

6  ‘The day thou gavest, Lord, is — ’ (5)

7  Old Testament measure of weight,  (Exodus 30) (6)

9  Where Elijah restored life to the son of a widow  (1 Kings 17) (9)

13 ‘I consider them — , that I may gain Christ’ (Philippians 3) (7)

14 City visited by Paul’ (Acts 19) (7)

15 See 12 Across

16 Rioted (anag.) (6)

18 She had a surprise when she answered the door and found 8 Across outside (Acts 12) (5)

20 Maltreat (1 Chronicles 10) (5)

July Answers

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      August Anagrams

BYGONE TRADES

Rearrange the letters below to form the names of 11 shopkeepers of the past. A few of their shops survive but most have now been taken over by supermarkets and department stores.  

1.     HIS FROGMEN    2.     CORGER GENRE    3.     HE HEARS BARD    4.     ROTTEN ISA    5.     COPY AT HARE    6.     MORNING ROE

7.     RED RAP    8.     ILL MINER    9.     IT COST BACON    10.   LARIOT    11.   FINE CROCO NET

Compiled by Peter Warren

           July Anagram Answers     

FARM ANIMAL PHRASES:

 1.     DOG IN THE MANGER    2.     STRONG AS AN OX    3.     A DARK HORSE    4.     THE CAT'S WHISKERS    5.     LIKE A DUCK TO WATER

6.     BULL IN A CHINA SHOP    7.     ACTING THE GOAT    8.     DO THE DONKEY WORK    9.     GENTLE AS A LAMB    10.   NO SPRING CHICKEN 

Winner:  Wyn Hirst

 Send your answers with your name to  the editors. 

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August Sudoku

July Answer

Winner  Jack Thompson

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 New data shows ‘sheer scale’ of child poverty – Bishop of Leicester

The End Child Poverty Coalition, together with the Centre for Research in Social Policy at Loughborough University, has published data on the number of children living in poverty in each Westminster constituency and local authority across the UK.

The Bishop of Leicester, Martyn Snow, who is the Church of England’s lead bishop on poverty, has issued the following response:

“These statistics remind us of the sheer scale of child poverty. Churches are doing all they can to offer hope, but we know from the struggles of many people in our congregations, and the demand we see for our projects every day, that there is much work to do to turn the tide on poverty.

“I pray that the Government’s child poverty strategy will rise to the challenge we face, addressing the two-child limit and other policies which drive poverty and harm the health, wellbeing and life chances of our children.”

The General Synod of the Church of England backed a call last year for an end to the two-child benefit limit. The limit means families can only claim can only claim child tax credit and universal credit for their first two children, if they were born after April 2017.

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Wildfires in the UK

If you venture into the countryside this month, be careful and stay vigilant: be wildfire aware. So warns the National Fire Chiefs Council, after a record-breaking season for wildfires.

The concern is based on some alarming data. By June (the most recent data on hand) firefighters had responded to more than 500 wildfires across England and Wales. That was a 717 per cent increase on the same period as last year, and more than double the number seen in 2022.

Dry, sunny weather this Spring created ideal conditions for wildfires, which thrive on plenty of dead and dormant vegetation, and spread rapidly.

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Tim Lenton looks back on an extraordinary clergyman …

The vicar who won Wimbledon

Ninety years ago, on 21^st August 1935, John Hartley, the British tennis player, died. He was the only clergyman ever to win Wimbledon and was World Number One in both 1879 and 1880 – winning Wimbledon both years.

The Revd John Thorneycroft Hartley was born in 1849 in Wolverhampton and was well connected: his parents were both from Staffordshire industrial business families, and he married Alice Lascelles Murray, daughter of the 4th Earl of Mansfield and a granddaughter of Henry Lascelles, 3rd Earl of Harewood. They had no children.

He won the 1879 Gentlemen’s Singles title against Irish champion Vere St Leger Goold in three sets on 15^thJuly, retaining his title the following year. But in attempting the hat-trick in 1881 he lost the shortest ever men’s final, 0-6, 1-6, 1-6, in 37 minutes. He was said to have been ill at the time.

Hartley had become a priest in 1873. He was firstly curate of Christ Church, Southwark, and then became vicar of Burneston, a village in North Yorkshire, from 1874 to 1919. In 1891 he became Rural Dean of East Catterick, and later he was Honorary Canon of Ripon Cathedral.

As an amateur, he received no cash for his Wimbledon wins, and in the course of his first finals win he caught a train to Yorkshire so that he could do his duty and take his services at Burneston on the Sunday. Not only that, but he stayed with a dying parishioner until he passed away on the Monday – the day of the semi-finals. A rain delay helped him to get back to London in time.

At the Golden Jubilee Championships in 1926 he received a silver medal from Queen Mary as one of 34 surviving champions.

Editor:     The Revd Dr Gary Bowness continues his tongue-in-cheek letters from ‘Uncle Eustace’…

The Rectory

St James the Least of All

My dear Nephew Darren

Anyone who thinks that the English are a peaceful race has obviously never organised the annual pumpkin growing competition. Very regrettably, one of the Pilgrim Fathers sent a handful of pumpkin seeds to a relation in this parish in the 17th century and ever since, the church has been obliged to hold an annual competition to see who can grow the largest. I suspect some of the original recipients of those seeds still compete. There is a certain irony that the church, which is supposed to promote peace and harmony, sponsors the most war-like activity in the annual calendar.

Mobilisation starts at the beginning of the year when seeds are planted. From that moment on, every other potential entrant is regarded as the Enemy. Once seedlings are planted out, then heavy armaments are placed at boundaries to deter possible invasion. By late Spring, paranoia has taken over and rumours begin to circulate of espionage and sinister undetectable herbicides. Anyone in the village with a beard is looked on with deep suspicion.

In the weeks before the competition, homes, partners and children are abandoned, as contestants talk to their pumpkins by day and snuggle up with them at night. Should bad weather arrive at this point, then I am blamed for not having prayed sufficiently fervently for sunshine and light rain. If only I had such influence.

On the day before the show, tables are put out and woe betide anyone who places their cake stand where Mrs Cholmondeley has put her tea urn for the past 25 years; she now believes she has squatters’ rights to that place, and any challenge to her claim would probably result in litigation.

I find this competitive spirit a little bemusing, as for the last 25 years, the Earl of Stowe has always won first prize. That his mother, the Dowager Countess, is the judge, is, I am sure, pure coincidence. That she has arrived for the past three years with a white stick and accompanied by a golden Labrador does, however, raise doubts.

To award the Earl any prize at all does seem a little unfair, when the only time he ever gets mud on his boots is when he falls off his horse while hunting. I suspect he would be hard pressed to find where the kitchen garden is on his estate. But to give any credit to his gardening staff would be seen as bad form, so we all keep quiet.

It has been tentatively suggested that another judge should be appointed, but no one has so far had the courage to step forward. They may have the privilege of nominating the winner, but they would also have to face a 12 month period of hatred from all those who were not successful. Christmas card lists will be amended. Families may have sat next to them in church for generations, but would suddenly find it more congenial to worship in another part of the church. Letters would be strangely mis-delivered, and the butcher’s boy would suddenly deliver lamb when pork had been ordered. Who could dare to take on such a poisoned chalice?

Your loving uncle, 

Eustace

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The unlikely helper of red squirrels

Red squirrels have found a surprising friend in their fight to survive against grey squirrels. It is the elusive pine martin, who is a natural predator of all squirrels.

Now a recent study by Queen’s University, Belfast, has found that pine martens are increasing, and that they kill more grey squirrels than red squirrels. This is because red squirrels are naturally wary of pine martens, and so avoid them. Grey squirrels, on the other hand, do not know to fear pine martens, as they are not native to the UK.

It is good news for the beleaguered red squirrels, who have been nearly wiped out since their larger North American cousins arrived in the late 19^th century. Most red squirrels these days are confined in small populations in Scotland, Anglesey and the Isle of Wight.

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In praise of olive oil

Olive oil is surprisingly good for you. It has been found to be able to ward off chronic disease and to boost your brain health. So, when those ancient Greeks praised it as an aid to staying young and healthy, it seems they were right.

While the Mediterranean diet can include up to four tablespoons of olive oil per day, a recent study at Harvard has found that even just half a tablespoon of olive oil per day helps protects your heart and brain from disease. It may even slash your risk of Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s by 29 per cent, and cancer by 17 per cent.

Olive oil is packed with monounsaturated fats, and even has anti-inflammatory properties, which have been compared to Ibuprofen. The best way to eat it? Add it as a dressing to your salads. Frying with it can degrade some of its properties.

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Are your sunglasses good enough?

They may look trendy, but when you bought them, did they have the official UKCA or CE markings on them?

If not, your eyes may NOT be protected from the sun’s dangerous rays. So says the Office for Product Safety and Standards, which is part of the Department for Business and Trade.

It warns that not all sunglasses can block the ultraviolet rays from the sun, but only the ones with the official UKCA or CE markings. And without protection, your eyes will be under long-term increased risk of developing cataracts, macular degeneration, photokeratitis and even solar retinopathy.

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 Why can I see the moon in the day?

It’s holiday time, and you may be spending more time than usual with your children. That will give them ample opportunity to ask you those questions for which you have no answer.  A survey has found the top ten questions that most stump parents are:

Why is the moon sometimes out in the day? Why is the sky blue? Will we ever discover aliens? How much does the Earth weigh? How do aeroplanes stay in the air? Why is water wet? How do I do long division? Where do birds and bees go in the winter? What makes a rainbow? Why are there different times on earth?

Research by the British Science Association found that two thirds of parents most dread those questions that have to do with maths or science.  Prof Brian Cox, the scientist and broadcaster, has suggested that “the best thing parents can do is work with their children to find the answers – not only can it be fun, but you’ll both learn something new along the way.”

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Those long car journeys of summer…

Are you taking a LONG car journey as part of your holiday this summer? Beware: hours on the road can leave you tired, a bit travel sick and with aching muscles.

Tiredness is the most serious – at least if you are the driver! It is reckoned that 10 – 20 percent of all car crashes are due to sleepy drivers. So, try and get enough sleep the night before, as research in Queensland, Australia has shown that drivers with less than five hours sleep are just as likely to crash as if they were over the legal limit for alcohol. Take breaks, and keep air flowing well through the car.

Motion sickness can be another hassle – and it affects around one in three of us. Though curiously enough, drivers hardly ever suffer from carsickness – just the passengers.

Gut discomfort is another problem – on long car trips we tend to drink less, go to the toilet less, snack at odd times on junk food, and not move for hours. No wonder we feel sluggish and bloated.

So – when you stop for regular breaks, take the trouble to walk about. Drink plenty of water, and eat healthy snacks like bananas, apples and nuts.

Finally, avoid tight clothes on a long trip. They only put extra pressure on your abdomen. Instead, opt for loose-fitting trousers or skirts which have some ‘give’ around your tummy.

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Looking back on JAWS – 50 years on

The shark that came to Amity Island for dinner – most people aged 60 and over remember him as the scariest fish they ever saw.

As this summer the famous film celebrates its golden anniversary, here are some fun facts about the film which you may not have known…

1 When Jaws was released in the summer of 1975, its 28-year-old director Stephen Spielberg was very nervous – making the film had been beset with disasters. He worried that he might never work on films again. But Jaws was an instant success – spending 14 consecutive weeks at number one in the USA and eventually grossing $470 million worldwide. 

2 Jaws was shot on the island of Martha’s Vineyard, and scared people so badly that seaside resorts on the eastern US coastline reported a marked downturn in visitors that summer

3 Jaws is based on the 1974 novel by Peter Benchley, who was inspired by the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916. Five attacks, four fatal, had left New Jersey residents terrified of the water

4 The three 1.2 ton, 25-ft-long pneumatically powered sharks were given a name on the film set – Bruce. They were named after Spielberg’s lawyer, Bruce Ramer.

5 These mechanical sharks were so prone to misfunction that the script was rewritten, so as not even to show the shark until one hour and 21 minutes into the film. But this served as a stroke of genius – for it allowed the tension to build and build

6 There were endless problems on the set: bad weather, water-logged equipment and even the main boat sinking. The actors were often seasick, and sometimes feuding. The 55-day schedule overran to 159 days, raising the budget from £3.5m to $9m

7 George Lucas, who visited his pal Spielberg on the set, got his head stuck in the shark’s mouth. They nearly broke the mechanical shark in their frantic efforts to free him

8 The film’s most famous line, ‘You’re gonna need a bigger boat’, uttered by Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) when he first saw the shark, was not in the script, but improvised. The film crew had been constantly saying it in their complaints about the support vessel on set

9 When Spielberg first heard composer John Williams’ score for the film, the famous ‘dun-dun’, played on a tuba, he thought it was a joke. Later he said it was 50% responsible for making the film a smash hit

10 Jaws has not been good for the conservation of sharks. It reportedly led to an increase in killings, much to Spielberg’s regret.

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Paul Hardingham continues his series on the books of the Bible, which will run until the end of 2025.

What’s the Big Idea? An Introduction to the Books of the New Testament:

1 Corinthians

‘When people become Christians, they don’t at the same moment become nice. This always comes as something of a surprise’ (Eugene Peterson).

After founding the church in Corinth Paul spent a year and a half with them, showing them how to live out this new life as a community of believers. Corinth was a major commercial centre in Greece and a crossroads for travellers and traders across the Empire. Its people placed a high premium on wisdom, but Corinth was also known for its immorality. Little wonder that the church was plagued with so many problems! However, after Paul left the church factions developed, immorality was rife, and worship had become a selfish grabbing for the supernatural. Paul’s letter, written around AD 55 in Ephesus, is a response to these problems.

It is clear that, although the church was gifted (1:4–7), it was immature and unspiritual (3:1–4). Paul’s purpose for writing was to:

• instruct and restore the church in its areas of weakness, correcting erroneous practices such as divisions (1:10—4:21), immorality (ch. 5; 6:12–20), litigation in pagan courts (6:1–8) and the abuse of the Lord’s Supper (11:17–34).

• correct false teaching concerning the resurrection (ch. 15).
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This letter is very relevant for us today, as we are also powerfully influenced by our cultural environment. Many of the questions and problems that confronted the church at Corinth are still with us. Yet despite the problems, Paul’s focus remained on knowing Christ in His life and trusting in the power of the cross: ‘For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.’ (2:2).

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Here are some insights into the Bible from the Revd Richard Bewes, formerly Rector of All Souls Langham Place, London.

How big was the Flood?

A Mesopotamian disaster, or a world catastrophe? The Flood continues to fuel speculation worldwide.

That is the precise point – we don’t even have to explain which flood we’re talking about; Noah’s Flood is firmly embedded in the human memory on every continent.

There is a Hindu tradition about a great flood, and a ship of safety finally landing on a northern mountain. In China, Fa-he, the reputed founder of Chinese civilisation, is represented as escaping from the waters of a deluge – and reappears as the first man in a new world, accompanied by his wife, three sons and three daughters: eight people in all.

There is the famous Babylonian Epic of Gilgamesh with its detailed myth-legend of a great flood. The Fiji islanders have accounts of a flood, in which a family of eight was saved. In South America, paintings have been discovered, representing a flood, a man and his wife on a raft, with a mountain featuring in the story, as well as a dove. Even the Cherokee Indians have a similar story. Only Africa seems to be without a traditional flood story.

I believe that the book of Genesis gives us the original, inspired and definitive account of this mega event. It could have been Shem, one of Noah’s sons, who later told his children of this great epic of his life, and, as people fanned outwards from Mesopotamia, so the story travelled outwards as well – inevitably becoming garbled in the process, and mixed up with legend and folklore.

How big was the Flood, then? The right answer is that it was of all-time, universal dimension and significance. Certainly we can make out a strong case for a literal worldwide flood – with the release of the great waters both from below and above (Genesis 7:11,12)  But we may also observe that the phrase of Genesis 7:19 – that ‘all the high mountains under the entire heavens were covered’ can be paralleled by Acts 2:5, where – on the Day of Pentecost – those who were present were ‘from every nation under heaven’.  Those nations are then listed out in detail, and they are all from the then known world of Luke the writer – around the Mediterranean basin. So, the Flood itself need not have extended across the entire world.

Can we respect the differing views among reverent students of Scripture? If we cannot, we are in deep trouble. Once we get into lengthy and heated debates as to whether the flood covered every dot of land-space on the world, we are in danger of exhausting ourselves and diverting people from hearing the real message of the Flood. And what is that?

First, it widens the problem – from a garden to the whole world. The Flood conveys a universal warning. Second, it produces a model – for our entire understanding of judgment and grace, for ultimately the safety of the ark is found in Christ. Third, it sets the stage – for the drama of salvation that is to be unfolded from Genesis 12 onwards.

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David Pickup, a solicitor, considers how to fill those spare moments on holiday…

Holiday reading

When I go away, I first write a list of things to pack. I pride myself on being able to pack quickly; just throw some spare clothes in a bag, toothbrush, other things I need and of course plenty to read. My experience tells me I need at least a book a day. I take old books which I have read, guidebooks and maps about the place I am visiting, and some of the books from my pile of ‘to read’. My family says I spend too much packing time on what books to take and not clothes – which is probably just criticism.

When I was on holiday recently, disaster struck as I had read everything that I had with me. You never know how long a book will last you. Some you can read in a few hours and others do not get going. That forces you to buy more books or see if the place where you are staying has anything interesting on the bookshelf.

So, I found myself in a medieval town church looking around and they did have some second-hand books for sale. Sadly, there was not much of interest for me this time, but I live in hope. It is interesting to nose around churches and look at the mugshots of the PCC members and clergy. They all look incredibly young!

•  
• It is lovely to see a cared for, busy church. It stands out a mile, even in an empty building, you feel the love and spiritual warmth.
• One place I was tempted to take volumes from the bookshelves, but it was a church library, not a sale. So why don’t churches start a little book shop in church? 

Dogs and heatstroke

An over-hot dog is a serious matter – if they can’t cool down, they are in trouble. So when is a dog too hot?

Vets warn that in temperatures of 20-23C, you need to be careful not to exert them. At 24-27C you are well into the danger zone, and over 27C is life-threatening for them.

Dogs who suffer early on are those with short noses, flat faces, or heavy coats. Small dogs suffer worse than large ones, as do all older and overweight dogs.

Dogs cannot sweat through their coats, but only through the pads on their feet. They cool themselves by panting, which releases heat through the evaporation of their saliva from their extended tongues.

Here are the signs of heatstroke. If you see these in your dog, take action FAST, and call a vet:  Excessive panting, drooling, increased heart rate, very red or very pale gums and tongue, vomiting, diarrhoea, bloodshot eyes, increasing lethargy.

Get your dog out of the sun and into the shade. Stand it in a tub of cool water, and splash its tummy, between its legs and under the tail – not just on the back. But cool it gradually – don’t use very cold water, to avoid causing shock. Let your dog lie on wet towels.

As for Walkies, in hot weather, go before 8am and after 7pm. Hot pavements and roads can seriously burn a dog’s pads. Try holding your palm on the pavement for 15 seconds – if it is too hot for you, it is too hot for your dog.

NEVER leave your dog in a parked car. A car left in the sun can heat up to 47C within an hour. And your dog enters the life-threatening zone at 27C.

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Book Review

Real Life Rev – a clergy survival guide

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All in the month of August

It was:

It was 1,700 years ago, on 25^th August 325 that the First Council of Nicaea ended with the adoption of the Nicene Creed. It summarised the Christian faith and established the doctrine of the Holy Trinity.

250 years ago, on 5^th August 1775 that the first Europeans entered San Francisco Bay.

Spanish explorer Juan de Ayala and his crew on the ship San Carlos explored and mapped the bay.

Also 250 years ago, on 23^rd August 1775 that King George III issued the Proclamation of Rebellion. It stated that the American colonies were in a state of open rebellion, and must be suppressed.

150 years ago, on 4^th August 1875 that Hans Christian Andersen, Danish writer, died. Best known for his fairy tales, such as The Emperor’s New Clothes, The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Pea, The Snow Queen, The Ugly Duckling, and many more.

100 years ago, on 5^th August 1925 that the Welsh nationalist political party Plaid Cymru was founded. Today it holds four of the 32 Welsh seats in the UK Parliament, 12 of the 60 seats in the Senedd, and 202 of the 1,231 principal local authority councillors.

90 years ago, on 21^st August 1935 that John Hartley, British tennis player, died. He was the only clergyman ever to win Wimbledon, and in fact he was world number 1 player in both 1879 and 1880 – winning Wimbledon both years.

80 years ago, on 6^th August 1945 that the US Army Air Forces dropped an atomic bomb on the city of Hiroshima in Japan. The centre of the city was totally destroyed, and about 80,000 people were killed immediately. A further 60,000 died by the end of the year, from injury or radiation. Hiroshima was the first city in history to be hit by a nuclear weapon.

Also 80 years ago, on 9^th August, that the US Army Air Forces dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki, killing 40,000 immediately and more than another 33,000 by the end of the year.  It was (so far) the last nuclear bomb to ever be dropped.

75 years ago, on 15^th August 1950 that Princess Anne, the Princess Royal, was born.

Also 65 years ago, on 6^th August 1960 that the Twist became a national sensation in the US, and triggered one of the biggest dance crazes, when singer Chubby Checker performed the song on the show American Bandstand.

60 years ago, on 6^th August 1960 that the Beatles’ Album HELP! was released.

Also 50 years ago, on 20^th August 1975 that NASA launched its Viking 1 space probe on a mission to Mars. It became the first spacecraft to land successfully on Mars, and to complete its mission.

40 years ago, on 22^nd August 1985 that the Manchester Air Disaster took place when a British Airtours Boeing 737 burst into flames after an engine caught fire and a fuel tank ruptured. 55 people were killed.

30 years ago, on 24^th August 1995 that Microsoft released both Windows 95 operating systems and also Microsoft Office 95.

25 years ago, on 4^th August 2000 that Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother celebrated her 100^th birthday. (She died in March 2002, aged 101).

20 years ago, on 22^nd August 2005 that the last Israeli settlers left the Gaza strip, ending 38 years of occupation.

Also 20 years ago, from 23^rd to 30^th August 2005 that Hurricane Katrina hit the Bahamas, Cuba and several southern US states. The city of New Orleans was flooded by 80 per cent when the levee system was overwhelmed. More than 1,800 peopledied. It was the costliest natural disaster in US history.

15 years ago, on 5^th August 2010 that the Copiapo Mining Accident in Chile took place. A cave-in at the San Jose copper and gold mine trapped 33 workers 700 metres underground, and an international rescue operation was launched. The workers were brought to the surface on 13^th October, 69 days later. Around one billion people watched their rescue on TV.

10 years ago, on 1^st August 2015 that Cilla Black, pop singer and TV presenter died. Known for her hit song Anyone who had a heart and for presenting Blind Date and Surprise Surprise.

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Smile Lines

August is the month of music and arts festivals….

Sounds

Music festival as parent drops off teenagers…

Daughter:  Did you ever hear anything so amazing as that band?

Father:  Well, I once heard a collision between a milk float and a little van filled with ducks.

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Go on

The critic started to leave in the middle of the second act of the play. “Don’t go now,” pleaded the producer. “I promise, there’s a terrific kick in the next act.”

“Fine,” was the retort. “Give it to the author.”

**

Music appreciation

The music critic enthused: “Here is Tchaikovsky at his best. Music so beautiful that it has to be heard to be appreciated.”

A lot of music is like that.

**

Drama

“Did the play have an unhappy ending?”

“Oh no – everyone was glad when it was over.”

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With the pitfalls of daily life in mind…

Spelling

Teacher:   Donald, how do you spell crocodile?

Donald:   K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher:  No, that’s incorrect.
Donald:   Maybe it is, but you asked me how I spell it.

Say again?

The foreign student fell in love, and wanted to say: “I am bent on seeing you…”  but he wrote: “the sight of you doubles me up.”

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Politicians

Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.

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Hymns for People Over 50

Give Me the Old Timers’ Religion

Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up

Just a Slower Walk with Thee

Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up

Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing

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When young children begin to pray…

“Lead a snot into temptation.”

“And forgive us our trash baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

“Give us this day our jelly bread.”

“Our Father, who art in heaven, how didja know my name?”

**

Golf

There was a clergyman who was an avid golfer. One Sunday was a picture-perfect day for golf, and the minister could not resist the temptation. He rang his assistant and told him he was too ill to attend church. Then he packed up the car, drove 30 miles to a golf course, and began to play. But an angel watching the minister was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, “Look at the minister. He should be punished for what he’s doing.”

God nodded in agreement as the minister teed up on the tenth hole. He swung, and the ball sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup, 350 yards away. A perfect hole-in-one. The minister was overjoyed. The angel turned to God and said: “Begging your pardon, but I thought You were going to punish him.” And God smiled. “Think about it; who can he tell?”

**

In or out?

After cleaning his young patient’s teeth, the dentist accompanied the five-year-old boy to the reception area, only to see him struggle with the oak door. “It’s heavy, isn’t it?” asked the dentist.

“Yes,” he said. “Is that so children can’t escape?”

**

Fish and chips

Some tourists touring the north of England stopped to visit a Priory. The Prior gave them a tour of the buildings, ending in the kitchen, where one monk was making fish and chips. One tourist said brightly: “You must be the fish friar,” to which the monk gravely replied, “No, I am the chip monk.”

**

School exam

The wife told her husband: “Did you know our neighbour’s daughter has just scored a 99 per cent on her math exam?”

Her husband, sipping tea, replied, “Really? Wonder what happened to the remaining one point?”

“Your son scored it.”

**

Holiday

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop and said, “I have a surprise for you. I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

He booked two flights and a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.

About a month later the little old lady came into his shop. “And how did you like your holiday?” he asked eagerly.

“The flight was exciting, and the room was lovely,” she said. “I’ve come to thank you. But just one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?”

**

Miscellaneous observations on life

You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says, “In 400 feet, pull over, stop and let me out.”

Golf balls are like eggs. They are both white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to go out and buy more.

You know you’re getting older when you begin to realize that your parents were right, after all.

You can learn many things from children. Like, how much patience you have.

The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon.

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And finally….

Be careful to be good, or you’ll end up in the minister’s sermon.

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The views expressed in this magazine are those of the contributors and do not necessarily reflect those of St Mary's, it's clergy, the Church of England

or the Editors.