Prospect of winter energy bills causing anxiety for millions, says Archbishop of York
Millions are looking ahead to this winter with ‘fear and anxiety’ about the cost of heating their homes, the Archbishop of York has said as he backed the recent launch of a campaign to provide a network of warm spaces for people who struggle to pay their energy bills.
Archbishop Stephen Cottrell is encouraging churches to consider getting involved in the Warm Welcome campaign, a network of venues from community centres to churches providing warm spaces over the winter for people struggling to heat their homes
.
Archbishop Stephen said: “Sadly, what began as a cost-of-living crisis has simply become the new normal for many.
“Millions of people will look ahead to this winter with fear and anxiety, wondering how they are going to cope with high living costs. That is why I am proud to endorse the Warm Welcome campaign this winter.
“But a warm welcome isn’t only about the temperature. It is about kindness and community, giving people the chance to be seen and known, to belong and to be part of something. It is about celebrating the God-given value and dignity of every single person, finding hope and community together. But of course, none of that will happen if people are cold.”
The Warm Welcome campaign is led by a coalition of over 50 charitable organisations who joined together in response to the cost of living crisis to provide emergency support to communities struggling to pay for rising food costs and to heat their homes.
_____________________________________________________________
Click to edit text. What do visitors to your website need to know about you and your business?
The mysterious ways of mistletoe
Mistletoe has long been used as part of our Christmas decorations. It is not your usual kind of plant.
Instead, it is hemiparasitic, meaning that although its leaves enable it to feed itself through photosynthesis, its roots invade the host tree or shrub to extract water and other nutrients
.
Mistletoe loves living in apple, lime, hawthorn, poplar or oak trees. You may spot it high up, as a large globe, on the bare trees in winter. There is one spectacular example in Windsor Great Park, clearly visible from the path on the opposite side of the Thames
.
Mistletoe’s berries are almost translucent, fleshy and sticky. They form in the forks of mistletoe’s many branches. While they are toxic to humans, they are attractive to birds, who wipe the remaining seeds off their beaks onto the nearest branch, which of course helps the plant to spread.
For some reason, Romans thought mistletoe represented Peace, Love and Understanding. Perhaps that is how it got into our Christmas celebrations? The earliest documentary evidence for kissing under mistletoe dates from the 16th century, but we don’t know who got kissed first.
_____________________________________________________________
Doctor Livingstone, I presume?
It was 150 years ago, on 10th November 1871, that Welsh journalist and explorer Henry Morton Stanley located the missing missionary Dr David Livingstone near Lake Tanganyika, in present-day Tanzania. He may or may not have greeted him with the words: “Doctor Livingstone, I presume?”
Stanley’s real name was John Rowlands. He was born in Denbigh to an unmarried 18-year-old who abandoned him. He ended up in a workhouse until he was 15, then went to America, where he changed his name and became an American citizen. When he found Livingstone, he was working for the New York Herald.
Known for his strength of will, Stanley also had an African name – Bula Matari – Breaker of Rocks. Much of his life was spent in Central Africa, and his reputation was mixed: he was said by some to be violent toward Africans, but by others to have treated them well. His feats as an explorer were impressive: he played a big part in locating the true source of both the Nile and the Congo, and he helped open up the Congo on behalf of King Leopold of Belgium.
Though not overtly religious, he felt he was engaged in a “sacred task”. He was re-naturalised a British subject in 1892, following his marriage.
_______________________________________________________________
All in the month of March
It was:
300 years ago, on 8th March 1723 that Sir Christopher Wren, English architect, died. Best known for designing St Paul’s Cathedral.
125 years ago, on 16th March 1898 that Aubrey Beardsley, British illustrator, died. His black ink drawings, influenced by Japanese woodcuts, contributed to the development of Art Nouveau.
100 years ago, on 4th March 1923 that Patrick Moore, the amateur astronomer, TV presenter, writer and musician was born. Best known for presenting the TV astronomy show The Sky at Night for over 50 years. (Died 2012)
80 years ago, on 13th March 1943 that the final liquidation of Krakow Ghetto in Poland took place. 8,000 Jews were transported to Plaszow labour camp, 2000 more were simply killed in the streets, and the rest were sent to Auschwitz.
70 years ago, on 19th March 1953 that the Academy Awards ceremony (the Oscars) were televised for the first time.
Also 70 years ago, on 26th March 1953 that Dr Jonas Salk announced that he had completed the first small-scale test of a polio vaccine. Larger tests began in February 1954, and mass vaccinations began in April 1955.
65 years ago, on 2nd March 1958 that the first land crossing of Antarctica was completed by the Commonwealth Trans-Antarctic Expedition, led by Vivian Fuchs. The team of 12 men travelled 2,158 miles from Shackleton Base to Scott Base (via the South Pole) in 99 days, using six vehicles.
60 years ago, on 22nd March 1963 that the British Secretary of State for War, John Profumo, made a statement in the House of Commons in which he denied there was any impropriety in his relationship with Christine Keeler, a model who was also in a sexual relationship with a drug dealer and a Soviet naval attaché. (In June he admitted he had lied, and resigned.)
50 years ago, on 8th March 1973 that the citizens of Northern Ireland voted in a referendum to remain within the United Kingdom. That same day the IRA carried out its first bombing in Britain since WWII, planting car bombs in London. One person died, 200 were injured.
40 years ago, on 6th March 1983 that Donald Maclean, British-born Soviet spy died. He was a member of the Cambridge Spy Ring.
Also 40 years ago, on 26th March 1983, that Anthony Blunt, British art historian and Soviet spy, died.
25 years ago, on 16th March 1998 that Rwanda began mass trials for the country’s 1994 genocide. There were 125,000 suspects for 500,000 murders.
20 years ago, on 1st March 2003 that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the al-Qaeda terrorist who masterminded the 9/11 attacks on the USA, was captured in Pakistan.
Also 20 years ago, on 12th March 2003 that the World Health Organisation issued a global alert about a severe form of pneumonia (now known as Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome – SARS) that was affecting people in China, Hong Kong and Vietnam.
_________________________________________________________________
Isherwood Hall. (The original hall)
Tables and chairs are available.
Click to edit block quote. What quote or client recommendation really sums up your business? 
April 2024 Magazine
As always thanks to all who have contacted us and sent us comments and articles for inclusion. Please keep in touch and send us things.
We think there is a lot of interest in the articles we have chosen and that it is ideal for you to dip in and out of and not read them all at once !!!
Pauline & Bob - co-editors..
Updated 1st April 2024
_________________________________________________________
THE ANNUAL MEETINGS 2024
Sunday 28th April 11am after the 10am service
Reports and Financial statements will be available to view beforehand.
Vestry Meeting
for the election of two Churchwardens.
If you feel you would like to become Churchwarden, please contact the PCC Secretary, Brian Livingstone (01642 279272).
Nomination forms will be on the church notice board in the porch entrance.
Annual Parochial Church Meeting
To receive the reports from various church organisations, and to elect PCC members and 2 Deanery Synod representatives.
If you feel you would like to become a member of the PCC, please contact the PCC Secretary, Brian Livingstone (01642 279272).
Nomination forms will be on the church notice board in the porch entrance.
All who are on the Electoral Roll and eligible to vote, should attend this meeting.
_________________________________________________________
Dear Friends,
When we think of pandas, we think of cute, soft, fluffy soft toys. Real Pandas are rather more formidable than that, but have no predators. They are protected creatures, which live exclusively in six mountain areas of western China, and their diet consists of one particular type of bamboo. Decades of protection are now bringing results, in that the numbers of wild pandas has increased. In each protected area, the surveillance CCTV cameras tell us something about pandas’ lives in their natural surroundings. A fully-grown adult panda can reach 6 or 7 feet in height when it stands up on its two back legs, and can weigh up to 30 stones. But if it were subject to predators, it could tear a wolf alive its bare paws.
Because these pandas are nearly extinct, there are institutions in China that specially study them, and help them to reproduce. Recently, many video clips have come online to show the lives' panda in zoos. How surprising and delightful to watch those extraordinary creatures and to learn more how they live. One is amazed to see how those who have been born and bred in these places adapt and develop in human-made environments. Those pandas that we see in zoos around world are the ones who have been deemed unsuitable for release back to the wild. Most them are hand-reared by human beings. These scarcely wild animals are capable of developing relationships with their human keepers, and lifestyles that are very different from their relatives in nature. The sole chocolate-coloured panda in the world must have realised that he does not need to hunt for food, for he just lies on his back almost twenty-four/seven, waiting for his meals to appear. The keeper has to hide his bamboo shoots in different places or hang them up in order to make him move and exercise. Another panda takes his vitamin supplements only from a particular keeper, and requires this keeper to give him a back massage before he accepts this sustenance. One panda dances to visitors’ loud shouts and laughs. Millions of online viewers are delighted - and bemused. No one had thought that such wild animals could become almost like domestic pets.
Those pandas lack the ability to realise that they are wild animals, who should and can roam freely in the mountains; instead, each day they are let out into their enclosures, which are full with man-made hills, pools, and climbing frames, and where their bamboo and fruit are brought to them at meal times, not to mention that they have special supplements of vitamins and minerals, medication, and regular health check-ups. For those pandas, each day is about eating, sleeping and playing; they have no thoughts about where the next meal comes from, no sense about defending their territory and, really, no sense of their future or destiny at all. The fact that they are born through the panda-breeding programme has set the terms of their lives.
Unlike pandas, we are conscious of who we are, what we are and whither we go. Or are we? Recently, I read a story that a Jesuit was at a meeting where everyone introduced themselves in the terms of their positions and jobs. When his turn came, the Jesuit gave his name, but then instead of telling his profession, said ‘I am a unique manifestation of God.’ I don’t know how the people present reacted to the Jesuit’s self -introduction. I doubt if a panda was at that meeting, but if so possibly too it may say, ‘I am Ling-Ling, a unique creature of God.’
On the other hand, I feel that the Jesuit missed a point, for we often do need to know some information about people in their social, educational and economic roles, and the professions or jobs they pursue can provide us with a guide to such information. A panda does not have these attributes.
We are not pandas. The Jesuit made an important point, which one often ignored: that it is we human being who bear the image of God, even though, like pandas, we are all created by God. Only human beings are made according to God’s own image. This is what makes us love light, righteousness, and justice, but abhor evil and wickedness. Therefore, we do our best to rescue endangered pandas, and strive to improve the global environment for them and for all God’s creatures to live. Pandas can live as long as his environment lasts. They do not need a conscious self-identity to live their panda life, whether in the wildness or in zoos. Human beings need to know who we are, not only to connect it to what we do, or how much we know how to do; we need to understand who and what gives us the meaning of life. For unlike pandas, we need hope, light, and justice in the society in which we live and the prospect of our eternal destiny before us. The knowledge that the Divine is our origin and end will guide our journey through this life to the next, and far from being like a panda's, our lives can be truly the manifestation of the image and light of God.
Norma
Random Ponderings.
As many of you will know, my family and I are in the midst of preparing to move to Exeter, to be near my daughter Bethany as we get older and our two sons (both with special needs) need the support of the rest of the family. The sale of our house, and purchase of one in Exeter, seem to be going quite smoothly, and it probably won't be all that long before we are on our way. The house is full of boxes being sorted out and packed up, and collections of stuff for charity shops, the dump, etc (the cats have no idea what is going on but they do enjoy playing in any empty boxes they find!).
I've lived in Middlesbrough most of my life, and through all the ups and downs God has blessed and kept us by his grace. These days, I keep noticing, or thinking of, all the things about this dear old Northern town and its area that I will miss, when we are finally settling in to the land of Dartmoor ponies, cider and cream teas. I'm getting quite a long mental list, including (but not limited to):
The view of Roseberry Topping.
The view from Roseberry Topping.
The Arty, and the huge old willow tree.
Proud old steel bridges spanning the river.
People who know what a 'Parmo' is.
Wild geese, calling to one another as they fly towards the estuary.
Tankers off Redcar, queuing for the tide.
Albert Park lake, where my Mum taught me to row.
The daft cat next door, and all our good neighbours.
The anemones by the church front door.
Evensong and Compline at St Mary's, and singing in the choir.
And the evening light through the West window, after the clocks change, showing Christ in glory with his arms spread out in welcoming love - the love I have always found in this church community.
I will miss you all so much, and am so grateful to have been a part of St Mary's family for nearly twenty years. You will always have my prayers.
I plan to continue to be in touch, and occasionally to visit. The magazine should receive a 'Letter from Devon' from time to time, and I hope still to be able to join in some 'Zoom' sessions.
Easter Day may be past, but Easter season (in the Church) goes on for weeks, so let us once more join in the traditional Easter greeting, which reminds us that, wherever we may wander, we are never alone. Jesus lives and will never leave us; he goes before us, and prepares the way, and will continue to guide and bless us all in the years to come.
Alleluia! Christ is risen!
He is risen indeed! Alleluia!
Hilary
___________________________________________________________________________________
Canon Paul Hardingham considers what Easter has given us
The Treasure of Easter!
It’s amazing what treasure can be unearthed with metal detectors! In this season of Easter, let’s rediscover the greatest unburied treasure of the Resurrection
.
The Apostle Peter reminds us that God ‘has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.’ (1 Peter 1: 3,4). What does he say about this treasure?
On the one hand, it is the reason for hope. Peter was writing to Christians in Asia Minor (modern day Turkey) who faced persecution under the Emperor Nero. In an uncertain world we know that Jesus suffered, but by His resurrection has secured eternal life for us. This inheritance not only guarantees life now, but also for eternity, as it ‘is kept in heaven for you’ (4). Do we share this confidence? D.L. Moody, the 19th Century American evangelist, spoke of the time when people would read his obituary: ‘Don’t believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now’
.
On the other hand, this treasure is a source of joy. This unburied treasure fills us ‘with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.’ (8,9). We face all kinds of trials in our lives, but God uses them to refine our faith and character, ‘These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.’ (7).
We reflect this treasure by developing the Jesus’ character and becoming more holy, obedient and loving.
‘Christmas is the promise, and Easter is the proof’!
____________________________________________
April Diary Page
Holy Communion service each Sunday at 9.00am (Said BCP service)
Sung Eucharist each Sunday at 10.00am (Common Worship)
Holy Communion each Tuesday at 10.00am (Said BCP service)
Evensong (BCP) each Sunday at 6.30pm apart from the First Sunday in the month when there is Compline at 6.30pm
APRIL DIARY PAGE
Saturday 6th April
9.30am Church Tidy
Sunday April 7th
EASTER 2
9.00am Holy Communion
10.00am Parish Communion
6.30pm Compline
Tuesday 9th
10.00am Holy Communion
Wednesday 10th
10 -11.30am COFFEE MORNING
Sunday 14th
EASTER 3
9.00am Holy Communion (BCP)
10.00am Parish Communion
6.00pm Evensong
Monday 15th
7.00pm Bible Study via Zoom
Tuesday 16th
10.00am Holy Communion
7.00pm Prayer meeting
Sunday 21st
EASTER 4
9.00am Holy Communion
10.00am Parish Communion
6.30pm Evensong
Monday 22nd
7.00pm Bible Study via Zoom
Tuesday 23rd
10.00am Holy Communion
Sunday 28th
EASTER 5
10.00am Parish Communion
11.00am ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING
6.30pm Evensong
Monday 29th
7.00pm Bible Study via Zoom
Tuesday 30th
10.00am Holy Communion
____________________________________________________________________
VOLUNTEERS
How do you feel about adding to the content of your church magazine?
We are looking to add more ‘home grown’ articles each month and would welcome any input.
Do you have a particular hobby or interest?
Maybe you belong to a group of like-minded people who volunteer in a charitable way?
Or perhaps you enjoy travelling and have come across interesting places you have visited. Why not share them with our readers?
Do you belong to a music group – or a gardening group – an art class– craft class or perhaps even a Morris Dancing group!!?? We are open to anything interesting… (of course, we may have to use our editor’s pen at times!)
The list is endless… have a think. Could you manage an article now and again? If so, let us know. We are open to any ideas.
Email: stmarywestacklamwebmagazine@outlook.com
____________________________________________________
Paul Hardingham considers foolishness and wisdom…
Called to be Fools!
April Fool’s Day is the traditional way to begin this month. In medieval times the fool (or jester) was not just there for amusement. He had an influential role in the court, because he could speak the truth in ways others couldn’t. As Christians we are also called to be fools; Paul described himself as a ‘fool for Christ’ (1 Corinthians 4:10). In what ways is this an
appropriate description of a Christian? In his letter Paul expands on this theme.
A foolish message:
‘For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.’ (1 Cor 1:18). The heart of the Gospel does not focus on clever ideas, but on the Cross of Jesus Christ. This message of foolishness and weakness is both God’s wisdom and power for our lives.
A foolish community:
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.’ (1:27). The church in Corinth consisted of slaves, rather than the rich and successful. God calls the weak and vulnerable to follow Him, in order to shame those who think they don’t need God.
A foolish ministry:
‘My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.’ (2:4,5). Paul’s ministry didn’t rest on human wisdom, but on the power of the Holy Spirit. For us, this power is often displayed when we are at our weakest.
‘A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.’ (William Shakespeare).
_________________________________________________
The Rev'd Dr Jo White considers a very ancient feature found in some churches.
Reflecting Faith: Easter Sepulchres
Over the last few months we’ve been looking at churchyards, grave memorials and the lychgate where the coffin may be rested on its entry.
This month we are going inside the church building to find a somewhat different and only really found in older churches that have survived re-ordering and renovations: the Easter Sepulchre.
A sepulchre is essential a place of burial – a tomb – but in churches it can also be a receptacle for religious relics.
Easter Sepulchres can be very grand affairs. I’m aware that many writers say that they are constructed in wood, but I have only seen stone ones. They can be plain or intricately carved. They can be low to the ground or reaching up to the roof. Each style, of course, reflects both the richness and generosity of the patron, as well as their theology.
Some have ‘layers’ of carvings, with the angels at the top, then the patriarchs, followed by the Fathers of the Church and so on. Others are very simple and almost plain.
They are normally set into or against the northern side of the sanctuary in which stands the altar, and which is traditionally considered to be the ‘holiest’ place in a church building.
Their use is given in their name – on Good Friday some consecrated bread and wine and often a crucifix (rather than an ‘empty’ cross) is placed inside it and people take it in turns to ‘stand watch’ until Easter Sunday morning, when it is taken out with great ceremony and often paraded through the building. The reason is to reflect the death of Christ, His being placed in a tomb and His subsequent resurrection.
Today’s ceremonies are usually less ostentatious, and whilst folk often take turns keeping watch on the Maundy Thursday, reflecting the disciples being asked to stay awake whilst Jesus went and prayed alone in the Garden of Gethsemane, less is made of the Sepulchre watch.
The items are simply removed before any Easter resurrection service takes place, either on Easter Saturday evening or early Easter Sunday morning
.
This month
See if you can find an Easter Sepulchre near you. Look at the decoration and consider all the different symbolisms it is trying to convey. If you cannot find one, then think what you would want to convey today?
_________________________________________________________________
David Pickup, a solicitor, considers driving…
.
Speed cameras and Moses
I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; for kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. (1 Timothy 2:2)
It is not often you get Moses and the local police popping up in the same sermon. I was thinking about the Bible passage that has Moses’ second attempt at the Ten Commandments, one of God’s greatest gifts to the world.
God had given Moses the laws, but he broke them in disgust when he found the people were behaving so badly. God asked him up to the mountain again and then gave him a second set. “Keep taking the tablets”!
I was walking in my village and wondered why the traffic was driving so peacefully and slowly. When I got to the lay-by to catch a bus into town, I saw the explanation. There was a police van fitted with a speed camera. The cars were driving slowly, well within the 30mph limit. I nearly went up to the officer to thank them, and to ask if they could come every day.
It was a good illustration for the sermon I was preparing. We do not want to get caught ourselves! We expect everyone else to obey the law, but often find exceptions when we are late or have an important errand. We repeatedly make mistakes but have a loving and gracious God.
As Christians we should be good drivers, and in my case a good pedestrian and road user. We should take an interest in local affairs and find out how parish and town councils deal with these issues. We should pray for people in authority and the police-officer who spent a long Saturday morning looking at slow traffic!
____________________________________________
Canon Paul Hardingham continues a new series which will run for the next two years.
What’s the Big Idea? – an Introduction to the Books of the Old Testament: Deuteronomy & Joshua
The setting for these books is Israel’s entry into the promised land after 40 years of wanderings in the wilderness. Deuteronomy gives us Moses’ addresses on the plains of Moab, as the Israelites prepare to enter Canaan. The book of Joshua recounts the crossing of the Jordan and the victories that give the people control of Canaan
.
The theme of Deuteronomy is God’s covenant and his call for His people’s obedience, loyalty and love. The ‘shema’ (Heb: ‘hear’), expresses this response to God: ‘Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.’ (Deut. 6:4-6).
The book contains instruction on how to live intentionally as God’s people in response to His love and mercy. Total loyalty to God is also crucial, with the worship of any other gods being totally rejected. It is also widely quoted in the NT eg. Jesus’ temptations (Deut. 8:3, 6:13, 16).
The book of Joshua, with its description of the conquest of the land and the destruction of cities and peoples, reminds us that God’s love and purposes for us are worked out in the messes, storms and sins of our daily lives. As God says Joshua: ‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.’ (Joshua 1:9).
Joshua (‘The Lord saves’) is the same name as Jesus Himself. Jesus overcame all powers of evil to bring God’s people into their eternal ‘rest’ (Heb 4:1–11).
Click to add an engaging title. High quality images go a long way in looking professional online.
________________________________________________
Cathedral attendance has continued its post-pandemic bounce back
Attendance at Church of England cathedrals has continued to bounce back following the pandemic, according to the latest statistics.
Figures show that adult usual Sunday attendance rose 60% between 2021 and 2022 for the 42 Church of England mainland Cathedrals to 12,300 adults. A total of 28,200 people including children attended services every week, according to 
Cathedral Statistics 2022.
Over the year there were 584,000 attendances at specially arranged services – not included in average weekly attendance – such as school services. The number of special services stood at 2,100. The total reported attendance at Christmas services stood at 104,000.
____________________________________________________
Where are the Chibok schoolgirls now?
Ten years ago, on 14th April 2014, the Boko Haram Islamic terrorist group kidnapped 276 female students from the Government Girls Secondary School in Chibok, Nigeria. Some of the girls escaped, some were rescued, or have been reported dead. But over 100 are still missing, fate unknown.
The girls, who lived in surrounding areas, were seized at gunpoint at night from the boarding school, where they had gone to take important final exams. It was believed to be safe because Chibok had never been attacked before. Many of the girls were Christian.
Boko Haram is opposed to western-style education, because they say it corrupts the values of Muslims. The name Boko Haram in the local Hausa dialect means “Western education is forbidden”.
Some of the girls escaped within hours – many of them by jumping off lorries – but a total of 219 girls were taken away. About 100 have been exchanged for Boko Haram militants, following negotiations arranged by the Red Cross. Two others escaped in 2016 and 2017, and one was found hiding in the forest with a child.
Meanwhile the Nigerian army launched a major offensive against Boko Haram, with help from the US, UK and France, and were said to have regained nearly all the occupied territory in north-east Nigeria. But no more of the Chibok girls were found, and in the years since then, many more reports of atrocities have continued to come in.
____________________________________________________
Living in Love and Faith: ‘the work goes on’ Bishop Martyn tells General Synod
Firm proposals for a settlement to enable the C of E to move forward together amid deep differences on questions of sexuality and marriage will be developed over the next few months, General Synod has heard.
The Bishop of Leicester, Martyn Snow - the lead bishop for the ‘Living in Love and Faith’ process – spoke of the growing desire in parishes for the C of E “to reach agreement and get on with serving our nation.”
This General Synod was the first since the prayers of dedication, thanksgiving and seeking God’s blessing for same-sex couples (known as Prayers of Love and Faith) came into use during public worship in the Church of England.
Separate proposals for special standalone services for same-sex couples to be formally authorised under canon law are also under consideration, alongside questions including clergy entering same-sex marriages and whether new structures may be needed to hold the Church together in a new context.
The debate concluded without a vote on the main motion after Synod members agreed to a procedural motion to move to next business.
Speaking after the debate, Bishop Martyn said: “We’ve had an opportunity for an open, thoughtful - and gracious - debate about how we might move forward together as a church in the next stage of the implementing our decisions on Living in Love and Faith and the work of reconciliation amid our divisions.
“However, there is more work to be done to develop concrete proposals on really important questions we face and a number of people thought it would not be helpful to proceed to a vote without those concrete proposals. I can see the logic in that.
“I was struck by the generous and gracious tone of the debate and I’m grateful to Synod members. I believe my brothers and sisters on Synod would not have been here if they did not believe that some degree of communion is still possible. That gives me great hope and great reassurance that we will find a way through this.
“What I’m picking up very clearly though is a growing desire in parishes for the Church of England to reach agreement and get on with serving our nation.
“So that will be my priority in the next few months as we seek to develop concrete proposals before the next meeting of Synod this summer.”
____________________________________________________
Church of England awards £2.4 million to boost participation
of Deaf, disabled and neurodivergent people
The Church of England has awarded £2.4 million to fund a series of measures aimed at boosting the participation of Deaf, disabled, and neurodivergent people in parish life.
This ranges from encouraging vocations to the priesthood, to grants for improved access to buildings.
Under plans over the next three years, the funds will back projects including lay and ordained vocations events, leadership programmes, and guidance to churches on more accessible signage.
The schemes will be developed and managed by the Church of England’s Disability and Deaf Ministry Task Groups.
A pilot scheme is planned for seven dioceses for café style spaces in churches, in partnership with mental health professionals and the charity Renew Wellbeing, aimed at providing welcoming spaces.
.
Another pilot will also be developed in the Church of England’s Northern Province providing 20 grants of up to £50,000 for projects that include physical changes to buildings that improve access.
___________________________________________
General Synod backs code of conduct for Parochial Church Councils
General Synod has voted in favour of a motion asking the Archbishops’ Council to explore a Code of Conduct for Parochial Church Council (PCC) members and lay volunteers.
The motion, brought by the Diocese of Chelmsford, sought to address an imbalance of accountability in relationships where lay volunteers currently face no significant consequences for persistent departures from acceptable standards of behaviour.
An introductory paper explained that, whereas clergy are subject to the Clergy Discipline Measure (CDM) process, there remains no proportionate and accessible means by which laity can be held to account for their actions.
The paper cited National Council for Voluntary Organisations (NCVO) advice that, while disagreement is a healthy part of decision making, it was recommended that charities should use a code of conduct for their trustees.
It highlighted instances of uncooperative or aggressive behaviour in meetings over a long period, where there was no mechanism to remove a member from the PCC.
Introducing the motion, the Revd Dr Sara Batts-Neale from Chelmsford Diocese said: “When [things] do go wrong, there is currently no way to change the composition of a PCC. There is a lack of clear accountability.
“We seek a review into a code of conduct to encourage healthy cultures, and to give a possible remedy for intransigent behaviours that damage people, the church, and hinder our ability to share the good news of Christ Jesus.”
_______________________________________________________
General Synod calls for redoubling of efforts to create new churches on estates
The C of E needs many more leaders from working class backgrounds and deprived communities, the General Synod was told.
The Synod also re-committed the C of E to setting up a church on every significant social housing estate.
Members also backed moves to double the number of young active Christians on housing estates. It wants young people from estates and low-income communities to be trained as children’s and young people’s leaders, among other forms of ministry.
All in all, the Bishop of Blackburn, Philip North, called on the Church of England to reverse the "slow erosion" of Christian life on estates.
Dioceses and Theological Education institutions (TEIs) – where people are trained for ordained ministry - should be encouraged to consider more ways of training lay and ordained leaders from estates and deprived communities, he said.
“Estates churches and the wider church desperately need leaders called from our estates and deprived communities,” he said.
He added: “I’m convinced that there is an underground army of evangelists and prophets out there which a culturally middle-class church is simply missing.”
New estate churches have been planted by all Anglican traditions, he said, and a number of dioceses, such as Southwark, Norwich, London and Southwell and Nottingham have appointed advisers.
He added that around £100 million of Lowest Income Communities Funding and £40 million in Strategic Development Funding has been allocated to estates or economically deprived communities.
Bishop Philip said the Synod had a chance to acknowledge and thank a "remarkable" group of lay people and priests who minister on estates.
He said the work on estates churches had been "utterly beautiful" in the face of multiple challenges including the pandemic and increasing levels of poverty and destitution.
___________________________________________________
April Crossword
ACROSS
8 ‘Was numbered with the — ’ (Isaiah 53) (13)
9 ‘They went — to the Mount of Olives (Matthew 26) (3)
10 Comes between Galatians and Philippians (9)
11 ‘Your heart will — and swell with joy’ (Isaiah 60) (5)
13 Muslim holy month (7)
16 Ten ears (anag.) (7)
19 Under (poetic abbrev.) (5)
22 How Abram described himself to God (Genesis 15) (9)
24 ‘Go to the — , you sluggard’ (Proverbs 6) (3)
25 Debar from receiving Communion (13)
DOWN
1 My — for His Highest (Oswald Chambers’ best-known book) (6)
2 Festival of the resurrection (6)
3 ‘His sons will prepare for war and — a great army’ (Daniel 11) (8)
4 ‘Let not the — string his bow’ (Jeremiah 51) (6)
5 Name of the River Thames in and around Oxford (4)
6 ‘Judas watched for an opportunity — — him over’ (Matthew 26) (2,4)
7 ‘But Christ is faithful — — — over God’s house’ (Hebrews 3) (2,1,3)
12 Long-handled implement used to till the soil (Isaiah 7) (3)
14 Order to which monks and nuns devote themselves (8)
15 Appropriate (Proverbs 15) (3)
16 I, uncle (anag.) (6)
17 ‘They gave him — — of broiled fish’ (Luke 24) (1,5)
18 ‘Weren’t there three men that we — — and threw into the fire?’ (Daniel 3) (4,2)
20 Mountain where Noah’s ark came to rest (Genesis 8) (6)
21 ‘Friendship with the world is — towards God?’ (James 4) (6)
23 Prominent architectural feature of large cathedrals such as St Paul’s (4)
March Answers
ACROSS: 1, Wine. 3, The alert. 8, Ooze. 9, Passover. 11, Garden Tomb. 14, Cannot. 15, Elisha. 17, Gethsemane. 20, Own house.
21, Lisa. 22, Flogging. 23, Stye.
DOWN: 1, Wrong act. 2, Nazarene. 4, Health. 5, Assemblies. 6, Envy. 7, Turn. 10, Before long. 12, Iscariot. 13, Take care. 16, The Son. 18, Loaf. 19, Unto.
Winners Peter Warren
_______________________________________________________________________
April Anagrams
CHEMICAL ELEMENTS
Rearrange these letters to form the names of 10 elements from the Periodic Table. Each answer consists of one word only.
1. SAMMIE GUN 2. LEON RICH 3. MULTINAP 4. DOG HENRY 5. MOPSA SUIT 6. MY CURER
7. RINGTONE 8. O TINY MAN 9. SHOP OR PUSH 10. TAUT MINI
Compiled by Peter Warren
March Anagram Answers
MUSICALS: Answers
1. MY FAIR LADY 2. THE BOY FRIEND 3. SOUTH PACIFIC 4. THE SOUND OF MUSIC 5. WEST SIDE STORY
6. THE KING AND I 7. A HARD DAY'S NIGHT 8. MARY POPPINS 9. OH WHAT A LOVELY WAR
10. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 11. HALF A SIXPENCE 12. THE SINGING NUN
Winner Wyn Hirst
Send your answers with your name to the editors.
_________________________________________
Sudoku
March Answer
Winner Jack Thompson
____________________________________________________________
9th April - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Lutheran pastor and martyr
Standing up to tyrants, no matter what the cost. That kind of courage has been in the headlines since the war in Ukraine began, as many brave people have defied Putin’s oppression.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer did not have Putin to contend with, but Hitler. Bonhoeffer did not back down either, when the time came.
Bonhoeffer grew up with no thought of ever defying the leader of Germany. Nothing could have been further from his mind or background. Born at Breslau in Silesia (now the Polish city of Wroclaw) in 1906, Bonhoeffer was the son of an academic. In 1912, his father was appointed to be Professor of Psychiatry and Neurology at Berlin university, and so the family moved to Berlin.
Bonhoeffer never even considered going into politics. Instead, he studied theology in Tubingen, Berlin and New York, before returning to Berlin as a lecturer in theology in 1931.
But though Bonhoeffer did not chase political trouble, it soon came to him. For on 30th January 1933 Adolf Hitler, leader of the National Socialist German Workers' Party, had come to power. His totalitarian approach left no room for anyone in public life to disagree with him. Including anyone in the two major churches - Lutheran and Catholic.
But Bonhoeffer refused to be compliant, and joined the Confessing Church, which had formed in opposition to the takeover of the Lutheran Church. The Confessing Church also opposed Hitler’s attempts to force antisemitism on the church and society.
Bonhoeffer was in America when war broke out in 1939, but he returned to Germany. He said: “I shall have no right to participate in the reconstruction of Christian life in Germany after the war, if I do not share the trials of this time with my people.”
Back in Germany, he joined the underground anti-Nazi opposition and worked hard to oppose Hitler. In 1943 he was arrested and imprisoned at Tegel prison in Berlin. The involvement of many of his contacts in the July 1944 plot to kill Hitler may well have sealed his fate. He was finally moved on to Flossenberg concentration camp.
In April 1945, as American troops were approaching the camp, Bonhoeffer was hanged. The last words of this brilliant and courageous 39-year-old opponent of Nazism were: “This is the end - for me, the beginning of life.”
Bonhoeffer left a great legacy behind him. His writings, and especially his Letters and Papers from Prison, have inspired many trying to make sense of persecution and needless suffering. His 1937 book The Cost of Discipleship is described as a modern classic.
____________________________________________________
Quotes of the Month
With Annual General Meetings at church in mind…
It was not an accident that 17 of the 36 parables of our Lord had to do with property and stewardship. - William James Dawson
Stewardship is what a man does after he says, ‘I believe’. - WH Greaves
All God’s giants have been weak men who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them. - J Hudson Taylor
I believe in loyalty to the local church. I don’t believe in that view of the invisible church that makes you invisible at church! - Vance Havner
Don’t stay away from church because there are so many hypocrites. There’s always room for one more. - A R Adams
Once the AGM is over, and the Church Council meets…
Nothing is more stimulating than friends who speak the truth in love. - Os Guinness.
The church should be a community of encouragement. - Fred Catherwood.
Prayer meetings are the throbbing machinery of the church. - C H Spurgeon
I know that the church has its stupidities and inanities and irrelevances; but I love my mother, in spite of her weaknesses and wrinkles. - E Stanley Jones
With the coming General Election in mind…
Common sense isn't. - Anon
There are two sides to every question, and a politician usually takes both. - Anon
It’s nice to have five years between elections. It takes people that long to regain their faith. Anon
A politician doesn’t stand on his record; he jumps on the other fellow’s. - Anon
It’s a good thing that politicians are generally paid by the year. They would starve to death on piecework. - Anon
The trick in campaigning is to give them platitudes without fear or favour, and straight-from-the shoulder generalities. - Anon
A politician thinks of the next election, a statesman of the next generation. - Anon
One thing you can give and still keep is your word. - Anon
Honesty is a question of right and wrong, not a matter of policy. - Anon
April brings the beauties of spring, a time when we especially admire Creation…
The probability of life originating by accident is comparable to the probability of the complete Oxford dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing factory. - Edwin Conklin
To create requires infinite power. All the world cannot make a fly. - Thomas Watson
Finally, some miscellaneous observations on life….
Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines. - Anon
Do not believe in miracles...rely on them. - Anon
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again? - Anon
Each of us is a mixture of dust and deity. - Anon
Every day is a gift; that's why they call it the present. - Anon
Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. - Anon
Friendship is a responsibility...not an opportunity. - Anon
The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage
The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success. - Anon
What we see in others often reveals something about us. - Anon
When a freight train passes, no one says, "It sounded just like a tornado!" - Anon
Why do they call it a drop cloth when the paint usually drops where the cloth ISN'T? - Anon
In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips. - Anon
It’s easy to be an angel when no one ruffles your feathers. - Anon
________________________________________
Don’t be afraid of clouds
Have you ever sat and watched the clouds drift by? Some of them are vast, towering up and up into the sky.
There can be clouds of discouragement and suffering in our lives as well, circumstances that temporarily blot out the sunlight of God’s love for us. You may have such a cloud hanging over your life right now. You may be in a hospital bed, or suffering discouragement, fear, despair or bereavement.
Have you ever noticed that sometimes, when you board a plane, the sky is like a thick grey ceiling? It looks impenetrable. But the plane does not hesitate – it climbs steadily onward and upward straight into the cloud. And what happens? Nothing! The cloud cannot block your progress, it must give way before you.
The simple truth is, you may not be able to see through clouds, but you can go through them. The plane uses navigational aids for guidance, and we have the Holy Spirit to guide us through the darkest times. And finally, we emerge through the cloudbank, and there before us is a sun-drenched sky of blue and golden glory, far above the dismal and disappointing things far below.
Whatever cloud is hanging over you at present, whether suffering, discouragement, fear, there IS something you can do about it NOW. Pray – pour out your heart to the Lord about it. He has promised that His grace will be sufficient for anything that we encounter in this life.
And – look up. Look towards heaven, think beyond those clouds, and remember His promise that the sufferings we may be undergoing here are nothing compared to the glory that God has prepared for us there.
The Bible assures us: ‘The Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man that trusts in you.’ Psalm 84: 11-12
______________________________________
Appreciating Johann Sebastian Bach
Three hundred years ago, on 7th April 1724, the German composer Johann Sebastian Bach’s St John Passion was performed for the first time, at a church in Leipzig.
It was put on as part of Good Friday Vespers at St Nicholas Church, having been transferred from St Thomas at the last moment by the music council. Bach, who had just turned 39, agreed to the move, while pointing out that the booklet had already been printed, there was no room immediately available for the musicians, and the harpsichord needed some repair. These problems were overcome.
Bach was already highly regarded, but primarily as a harpsichordist and organ expert. Later seen as one of the best composers of all time – renowned for such works as the Brandenburg Concertos and his Mass in B Minor– he was one of a large family of north German musicians. He is widely praised as a great synthesiser of styles and traditions.
The St John Passion, written during his first year as director of church music in Leipzig, was designed to be used as part of a church service. It follows John 18 and 19 in the Luther Bible, but the writer of the libretto is not known. A possible earlier Passion, written in Weimar, is lost.
Nowadays the St John Passion is heard mainly in the 1739–1749 version, which was never performed in Bach’s lifetime, though he made many revisions to the original before his death.
__________________________________________________
Remembering Lord Byron, the ‘gloomy egoist’
It was 200 years ago, on 19th April 1824, that Lord Byron died. One of the greatest British poets and a leading figure in the Romantic movement, he died of sepsis/fever while fighting for Greek independence from the Ottoman Empire. He was 36.
Byron was born in London but brought up in Aberdeen and relished the Scottish connection. His childhood was impoverished, and to a certain degree abusive, but at the age of ten he inherited his great uncle’s title and went on to Harrow and Cambridge.
After early rejections, his poetry was widely admired in England and in Europe, initially through Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, which was autobiographical and presented him as a “gloomy egoist”. His character fluctuated between kind and gentle on the one hand and selfish and cynical on the other. Early exposure to Calvinism combined with the extremes of his later life – multiple affairs – made him antagonistic to Christianity but tormented by it. He once described man as “half dust, half deity, alike unfit to sink or soar.”
Partly because of criticism of his scandalous lifestyle, he left England and eventually lived in Switzerland and then Italy with his fellow poet Shelley – having an affair with Shelley’s wife’s half-sister. Earlier he had married Anne Isabella Milbanke, by whom he had a daughter who achieved fame as Ada Lovelace, a mathematical prodigy regarded by some as the first computer programmer.
His wife eventually left him, possibly because of his incest with his own half-sister, Augusta Leigh.
Lord Byron moved to Greece to support the Greeks – whose attitude to life he found refreshing – in their struggle for independence from Turkey. He is widely admired in Greece as a result.
_________________________________________________
Editor: The Revd Dr Gary Bowness continues his tongue-in-cheek letters from ‘Uncle Eustace’…
The Rectory
St James the Least of All
My dear Nephew Darren
I am not the least surprised you have got yourself into trouble; innovation is never to be encouraged. New ideas tend to cause revolutions. The move from incandescent lightbulbs to energy saving ones may ultimately change the Church of England.
Change is something everyone claims to be in favour of – provided it has no measurable effect on their own lives. I remember as a young curate once suggesting that at the Harvest Supper, tables might be enlarged so that eight people could sit together rather than the traditional six, thus helping more people get to know one another. The response would have been similar if I had suggested we travel to London to murder the Prime Minister. I was firmly told that tables for six had been perfectly adequate for parishioners in Queen Victoria’s day. For the rest of my curacy, I was regarded as a revolutionary, to be watched carefully.
So, at your last visit to our church, to suggest that our 11am Mattins might be moved to 10.30am, in order to encourage those who wanted to have more of the day free to themselves, certainly lobbed a hand grenade among the post-Service coffee cups. The only person who was mildly in favour was Colonel Wainwright, who quickly realised that it would give him an extra half-hour at the gin and tonics before lunch.
Should you ever feel that people lack imagination, you should watch them in action when they find reasons for resisting an unwelcome suggestion. One said that the time couldn’t be moved, since it would then be too early for the local bus – omitting to mention that none of our congregation travel to church by bus and that the service doesn’t run on Sundays anyway. Another pointed out that it would confuse those who didn’t attend church – not explaining why if they never attended, it mattered what time the Service was. A third, rather touchingly mentioned that it wouldn’t give the rector time to enjoy his breakfast after the rigours of the 8am Service.
Your suggestion did, however, serve one useful purpose; it brought our congregation together in united opposition. They may not necessarily always know what they are for, but they certainly know what they are against. For that, I thank you.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace
___________________________________________________________________
The pet crisis
More than half of us in the UK own a pet. That is 17 million households.
But we are abandoning them at an alarming rate. The RSPCA warns we are offloading our animals at “unmanageable levels,” and stretching their welfare services to the limit.
The turning point was the pandemic. Stuck at home during lockdown, we went animal-mad, and our pet dogs soared from nine million in 2019 to 13 million in 2022.
But four million puppies purchased during the pandemic was not a good idea. Since then, a fifth of all those puppies have been reported as having behavioural problems such as clinginess, aggression, or being very hard to train.
On top of that, the cost-of-living crisis has left many people struggling to even feed their pet. According to the Office for National Statistics, the cost of owning a dog is estimated to have jumped by 12.8 per cent – around £256 – over the past year to total around £2,500.
All in all, it is the ‘perfect storm’. The RSPCA received 20,999 reports of abandoned animals last year. That is 5,000 more than in 2020.
_____________________________________
Book Review
On Mission with Jesus – changing the default setting of the church
By Graham Cray, Canterbury Press. £18.99
January 2024 marked the 20th anniversary of the start of the Fresh Expressions movement, which has since spread internationally and denominationally from its origins in the Church of England. Graham Cray was its first national Leader.
In the last 20 years, countless new forms of church have emerged through Fresh Expressions, the Church Army, New Wine, and various pioneer networks. This book offers a theological understanding of the missional nature of the church, which will inform local practice and assist ministerial and pioneer training.
____________________________________________
Do you remember your own PIN number?
Nearly one in five of us can’t. We are so used to paying by contactless that when we have to withdraw cash or type our PIN into a card reader, our minds go blank.
‘Contactless’ payments hit a record high last year. A staggering 93.4 per cent of all in-store card transactions up to £100 was made using contactless, rather than cash or PIN and card reader.
According to Barclays, we now depend on contactless payments and smartphone technology so much that more than a fifth of young people now leave their wallets at home when they go shopping.
Contactless technology was first introduced by Barclaycard 17 years ago. It had a spending limit of £10. The limit was increased during the pandemic, to reduce physical contact in shops, rising to its current £100 limit.
_________________________________________
World Autism Acceptance Week, 2nd – 8th April 2024
Autism is on the rise. Or at least, the recognition of it is. According to the website psychcentral.com, there was a 787% exponential increase in the number of people who were diagnosed with autism between 1998 and 2018 in the UK.
The National Autistic Society says that in the UK, more than one in every 100 people are now on the autism spectrum. It reckons that around 700,000 adults and children in the UK suffer with the condition to some degree.
All of which means that you probably know of someone who has autism, to some degree. And you may know that, as it says on the NHS website:
Autistic people may act in a different way to other people, … and find it hard to understand how other people think or feel. They may find things like bright lights or loud noises overwhelming, stressful, or uncomfortable. They may get anxious or upset about unfamiliar situations and social events and take longer to understand information.
To help people with autism, you may wish to support this ‘acceptance week’, by going to the National Autistic Society’s website, https://www.autism.org.uk and taking part in some way in their fundraising campaign.
_________________________________________________
The government wants to improve your teeth
Fluoride is to be added to more of our drinking water, to help improve the nation’s teeth. It is part of the new NHS Dental Recovery Plan, the biggest expansion of the health measure since the 1980s.
At present, only five water companies add fluoride to water in the UK. They are mainly in the North-East and West Midlands, and less than 10 per cent of Britons. The initial expansion will provide fluoride to 1.6 million more people, in areas including Northumberland, Teesside, Durham and South Tyneside.
Fluoride is a naturally occurring mineral found in water. It has been proven to make teeth stronger and reduce decay. Sir Chris Whitty, the Chief Medical Officer for England, has claimed that adding fluoride to water supplies could reduce cavities by 17 per cent among the richest and by 28 per cent among the poorest.
Don’t hesitate to use hearing aids
Here is something you didn’t expect: using hearing aids if you are a bit deaf can be of great benefit to your overall health.
Crystal Rolfe, director of health at the Royal National Institute for Deaf People (RNID) said: “Hearing aids bring enormous benefits for people with hearing loss. Research shows that wearing hearing aids may reduce the risk of cognitive decline, and it is well known that they have positive effects on physical, social, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
According to hearing loss charity RNID, 12 million adults in the UK are deaf, have hearing loss or tinnitus and an estimated seven million people could benefit from hearing aids, but only about two million use them.
The researchers hope the findings, published in The Lancet Healthy Longevity journal, will encourage more people to wear hearing aids. As one doctor said: “If you have hearing loss, get hearing aids. The benefits could be limitless.”
______________________________________________________________
50 years of ABBA!
Fifty years ago, on 6th April 1974, the Swedish pop group ABBA won the Eurovision Song Contest with their song Waterloo. It was the first time that Sweden won the contest. ABBA went on to be one of the most successful groups in music history.
The victory, in Brighton, was just the first step on the road to conquering the world, as far as pop music was concerned. The songs, written mainly by Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson, were matched by the passion, exuberance and good looks of singers Agnetha Fältskog and Anni-Frid ‘Frida’ Lyngstad, who later married them – and even later, divorced them.
The name of the group came from the initials of the four Christian names. Some have suggested a link to the biblical Abba and looked for Jewish themes in their songs, but this is wishful thinking. While Anni-Frid (who was born Norwegian) may be Christian, Björn is definitely an outspoken atheist. In fact, ABBA is the name of a Swedish canned fish company that had to give permission for the singers to use it – a decision they are unlikely to have regretted.
Both Waterloo and ABBA achieved worldwide superstar status quickly – no small feat for a group performing in a language that is not their own. The film ABBA – the Movie and the musical Mamma Mia and its sequel, featuring their compelling songs, were huge successes. It is estimated that the musical has been seen by more than 60 million people worldwide
.
ABBA hit the jackpot again when their revolutionary new project, ABBA Voyage, launched in 2022. In it, Agnetha, Björn, Benny and Anni-Frid perform their love-songs digitally with a live 10-piece band, in a purpose-built ABBA arena at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in London. Not bad for four divorcees in their 70s.
____________________________________________
Smile Lines
Worry
I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I can worry about it.
**
Wages
Seen on a church notice board: ‘Despite inflation, the wages of sin remain the same.’
**
Seen in a West Country church:
Whenever I see a little church,
I always pay a visit.
So when at last I’m carried in,
the Lord won’t ask ‘Who is it?’
**
Heaven
Seen in a parish magazine: “We shall be meeting on Wednesday, when the subject will be ‘Heaven – how do we get there?’
Transport by bus is available at 6.45pm opposite the King’s Arms.
**
Choir
Seen in a parish magazine: ‘Next Sunday the choir will give a recital, after which the church will be closed for repairs.’
**
Who is he?
A musical concert was about to be performed in a prison. The Governor was talking to a titled lady guest, explaining that the orchestra was made up of murderers, embezzlers and other hardened criminals. The lady then pointed to a man in the corner, holding a trombone. “He looks a tough customer,” she whispered. “Whatever has HE done?” The Governor paused and smiled. “Ah, actually, he is the chaplain.”
**
What am I?
I’m not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk! So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not old, I’m crispy!
**
Running
Insanity runs in some families; in others it positively gallops.
**
Up or down?
Is this apisdn umop or am I just standing on my head?
**
Rolled
From a church magazine: “The restoration of the churchyard was finally completed by the resurfacing of our driveway. The following Sunday, the church wardens praised everyone who had helped, and gave special thanks to the vicar and his wife who had rolled in the gravel.
**
What headstones are for
In the 1950s, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, visited the church of Scotland in Dumfries. As she was walking though the graveyard after the service, she asked the Lord Provost who was with her, why the headstones were so large? He replied “To hold them doon, Ma’am.”
**
Those typos in the church newssheet…
The church’s AGM will be hell on 22nd April.
While the pastor is on holiday, massages can be given to the church secretary.
More sinners wanted for the choir.
_______________________________________________
The views expressed in this magazine are those of the contributors and do not necessarily reflect those of St Mary's, it's clergy or the Church of England.